Everything Happens For A Reason and Vacation Sickness

Greetings! After all these delay, I was able to write back again. Imagine being sick for a week and not to mention not being able to take a bath for a week. If any of you would wonder if how sick I was. Well, I was really sick. I suffered from UTI(Urinary Track Infection), my pus cells is above the limit so I was in danger of being hospitalized. Good thing I wasn't brought there. I just stayed at home and had the timely rest that I need. I even wasn't able to show up for our company's User Acceptance Test where the company is going to accept the software that we made for them. I even asked my friend to upload my PHP site in a domain for me because I was too sick to handle a computer. My sight would go round and round immediately if I would look at the screen of my computer. What a vacation I got. Plus the addition of our ever noisy grandmother who just kept on talking even up to the times that you wanted to lay your head in the pillow and all you have to hear is her annoying voice. GGGRRRR! Even having difficulty in eating a meal because my tooth felt something like it's going to give in. I also vomit a lot. And lastly, nothing beats the taste of hard rock tablets.
Anyway, I do really believe in the notion "Everything Happens For A Reason". When I come to think about it. I just realized that the day before I got sick, I was in a good shape. Then on the day that I got sick I suddenly go from 100% to 10%. It was like my energy has been drained from me. The day before I got sick, I even had a nice game of starcraft and before that I had made the time to go to the mall. Then suddenly my body gives up. Then when I got home I just realized of how sick I was. My body temperature went up to 39.4 degrees. With the sickness I had I just can't stop thinking of how did I got sick? Then this optimism stroke me. Everything Happens For A Reason. Well, I truly believe in that notion said by my father to me. For me, God doesn't want us to suffer for nothing. Every suffering has its own opposite and equivalent reaction. One of my theories is that something good is installed for me in the future and that so God gave me this suffering. Well, I'm okay now, I am slowly recovering from the aftershock of my sickness and so everything would be alright.
Everything just went out of place when I got sick. My facebook account is in idle. My blogger account is in idle too. My social life is in idle too. When I got sick, I was so worried about my grades. I don't know why I started to worry about them. When I calculated them they just totaled to 81%. I lack 1% to reach the cut-off grade. It scared me that I am already in my fourth year then I would be forced to shift. But I changed that notion and set my mind in it's positive state. I stayed positive that they would reconsider my grade and remain as a CS student until I graduate. And I just realized by now that ever since I started to live a positive life. Good things happen to me even though I still got those hard moments and yet my optimism just kicks in and it just made me feel good. A year already passed since I been starting to live this kind of lifestyle. The slide was I became more carefree and happy-go-lucky than before. I was always overdue in my budget. I easily lost track in my money and I got fatter. I was unaware that living an optimistic life requires you to adjust too. I am slowly adjusting to it as of the moment. My body is back to it's normal not-so-fate-not-so-thin figure. I am starting to save money. And my budgeting powers is back. I am so ready for the next challenge that I am going to face. The next semester! Wish me luck guys! God Bless and Good day!

Love For Writing

Throughout my whole blogging career that started way back when I was 16, I just now realized how am I really attached to writing. My love for writing started when I got the idea to write the things that happened in my life. Especially that I am a problematic person. I name it as one of my weaknesses in my life. I tend to worry so much on little things that it could cause problems. I can't stop thinking about it until I assured it to be okay. At first, I don't like writing because my grammar is not that good. My friends even laugh at me when they see something not right in my words. At first it bothered me and so I stop writing. When the time came that my problems are already beyond my reach, I found refuge in writing. I never realized how relaxing writing is. It provides me comfort despite the problems that I face in school. I tend to just laugh about it after I read the articles that I write during that time. Even this time, I stopped writing because I got nothing to write anymore or I just run out of ideas. But now, I am back on track. Instead of making this blog a productive blog full of advertisements and things that could make money easier, I chose to make it as a diary. Writing all the current events in my life, it's either funny, sad, embarrassing or annoying, I just write it all as if I don't mind if anybody is reading it. It is obvious that this time of the year, I must have written a lot of articles but instead I just gather it all and then write them all up in one article. This way, I could save up the topics that I could write, at least my article would not just focus in one topic but many topics.
Anyway, later this day, I found out that I am halfway done in our software for the company. I was so happy that I didn't do anything this morning instead of finishing it. I just watched the box scores in www.NBA.com and Facebook. All morning, that's what I did. And I have forgotten about the exam that we will be having this afternoon for my other subject. In other words, I didn't study and I didn't do anything this day. It's like I am physically present in school but mentally absent for it. And later this afternoon as I took the exam, I realized that the questions are not that difficult but there are 70 questions. I managed to finish all of it in just 20 minutes. Not much of an analytic exam but much on the tricky type of exam. You gotta have sharp eyes if you wanna pass. And this day, I am obliged to finish so many things, like our software, some documents for the software and an activity but me and my friend decided to just take a day off and have some coffee. I just wonder when will I be finished with the things that I must do within this week.
Even with this pile of problems and tardiness time, I still find that time to write even though I feel like I don't want to. I should conclude that I really love writing above all. I didn't wish to be one big time writer or earn money through this but only wished to share everything that I had in the tank through this article. Writing sometimes can dry up your mind but it's fun once you read some of those old articles that you wrote and realized that how grammatically wrong are the sentences in your article are. And eventually laugh about it -- A lot! I always love to laugh at my mistakes in the past that I find funny. Anyway, it would be all guys. See ya!

Hope Revival

Good day! It has been a long time since I have written up in my blog. I am not busy as of this last few weeks but I just have forgotten. Sorry:) And I have nothing to write too. I was really busy thinking about my grades. Just this morning, I got a call from my friend saying that I passed and I would be staying in the division. I was so happy that I almost forgot to cook for our lunch and I am running out of time because my parents are coming home already. What a week it was for me just to think about how did I do with the other subjects. Maybe I had also forgotten how to be positive in life. I kept on wondering why in situations like this I always forgot to be positive. All of my pessimistic behaviors would surface out? Well, all those worries are over by now. I got my grades already and they are GREAT! My hopes are back again and I hope that I would survive up to the end. I will just have to take it one by one, little by little. As of the moment, I got nothing to write, I got nothing in my mind. Maybe I would just share the things that I have done earlier this week and last week. Last week, I have to make a quick review on my lessons because of the SBA(Skills-Based Assessment). I was really nervous that time. The unfortunate this that happened was the modules that I have studied are not the ones who came out in my SBA. Our SBA is made up of 3 in each group. Each member has his own set and I have studied the wrong set. :)) It was so funny but we still made it. We got a perfect group score but my individual score is a little bit disappointing. Earlier this week, I just stayed at home waiting myself to become tired of just watching TV, reading manga and FACEBOOK. The facebook fever is on everyone! I go online early in the morning and boom! I got over 20 friends online already. And I log in again in the evening then over 30 friends are online. Is there anytime that my chat box would be empty? My chatbox had never been empty. Anyway, I just got my cooking touch back this week. My mom told me to cook various viands for our lunch and I realized that my cooking is isn't bad at all. I hasn't changed at all! Although I lost a little of my sense of tasting which turned out my mom kept saying to me that my soup always lacked salt. :)) I also been caught earlier this week reading manga comics. I got this one love story that it was so exciting to read. And just this morning, I finished reading that story. That was a very good story. I was really touched by it. Anyway, tomorrow would be enrollment day so I'm gonna be out tomorrow for my enrollment. Maybe I could write back again in the evening so till next time. Good Night.

Confidence: Nothing To Worry About

Good day guys. I admit it, this is the first time in my life which I haven't had the feeling of fear during semester breaks. Fear because I might have failing subject. Today, I had nothing in my mind except rest and joy. Usually at this time of year, my mind is very crowded with wild speculations. I was really surprised about this. I hope this would last until the summer class. I don't feel like I will fail this semester. I kept on thinking about passing and that's will be happening. I am so happy today that I couldn't express the feelings that I have in my article. Anyway, I still have one exam left in our networking class but I haven't felt any pressures that I should pass the exam. But I already promised myself that tomorrow, I am going to study for that exam and I will not fail that last exam. I feel like I got confidence pouring inside of me that's putting my morale up to the maximum level. Just before the finals of our semester, I kept on thinking about failing but it was the opposite of what I am feeling today. Anyway, this week is our defense week for our SAD(Systems and Analysis Design) subject. Our defense was last Monday, we haven't sleep the day before it I have only slept for 3 hours. During our defense, we were cornered by the panelists! The good thing was the head panelist gave us 2 hours to fix our bugs in our software. Luckily, the bugs were made up of wrong variable namings, variable not matching to other variables and etc. So, it was just a little revision that were given to us. In less than 2 hours, we finally managed to fix everything else and the panelists gave us the flag meaning we passed. There are other groups that also been in our situation. They were also given 2 hours to fix it up and they made it. But there are also groups who haven't passed. I thought that everyone will pass this time but my mistake, this time, the panelists are stricter than the last defense that we had. I was so sorry for my classmates who haven't made it. I mean, they did their best, had countless sleepless nights to make their software work but in the end it didn't help them pass the subject. I am so sorry for them, I am truly sorry. As I see those people who come out in the room teary eyed, I already have this notion in mind that I must comfort them for the outcome of their defense. Or help them forgot the thing that they had just faced. But it doesn't help, every negative words that the panelists would utter hurts the morale that you have stored inside of you. But yet, I also envy those people who made it without the panelists giving them 2 hours of fixation to their software. Anyway, to those people who are taking their vacations already, Have a good time. I will still be here writing my every article straight from the heart. Good day.

A Dying Hope

Good day! The exam week is already over and so as I was visualizing for a nice and sooth enrollment this summer without an troubles. For I have always been a burden not emotionally but financially, the drop of my parents' coins in Ateneo's cashiers would be hard to swallow as I see the cashier counting the money out. I could never be happier if I could pass this semester with flying colors, not worthy for a judgment whether I must stay in Ateneo or not. As I sweat down every night with a little twist of coke when I study, I still had some doubt in myself whether I could make it or not. I couldn't accept the fact that I would not be accepted ever again. I would have the greatest letdown in my life if it were to happen. I would never forgive myself if it were to happen. And I will be miserable in my whole life if it were to happen. My dream would be broken throughout my whole life. As the exam week comes to an end, it left me thinking about these things but because of my optimism, I was away about these things and I don't want to think about these things too. Right now, I was hoping, my last hope or my dying hope... I feared about my optimism would wind down and needs to be recharged or my optimism would opt out and it would be difficult to regain it. I couldn't imagine the circumstances right now. At the start of the year, I was thinking about redemption and I got what I want but does it had to end up like this? Will this redemption project just lost it's flare so suddenly? I have already given out my last knock-out punch yesterday in my Algorithm subject and so I was waiting for the decision whether I am worthy or not to stay. This is the reality, the life in the university, the bitter life that university students experience. Aside from the expensive tuition fees that you have to pay yearly, you also must maintain your grade to be in able to stay and not to disappoint your parents paying for your schooling. I experienced it all, I experienced it on hand, the bitterness of studying in a university. Why have to be so cruel? We payed and if we fail we will be kicked out of our division, the worst thing is the school will kick us out. We payed for education, we payed expensive fees and at the end we will just be kicked out? What are they thinking? We are not a public school that it would be okay for the school to kicked a student out obviously because we have to pay nothing to pay for our schooling there. In every angle you look, they are in power and so you are only obliged to follow the rules. Good day.

Frustration Ahead...

Good day! Frustration will always be a part of our lives. It is the one that pulls our morale downwards or maybe pull it upwards depending on the frustration that one has. As for me at this moment, the frustration that I have has grown drastically that made me reminisce and reflect about it. My optimism, I would say, has been affected too but not really that big. Because of my optimism I am still rock solid right now to my beliefs of redemption. Just later today I found out that the girl that I really like had some guy way back there to the place where she was born. It was not frustration but disappointment but the frustration there is that is why she is not replying on the chats that I try to initiate. Why can't she just tell me to stop. Another is our teacher in theology who really frustrated us all in our class. He had this thing in him that we really hate the most. Take note, he had sudden mood swings! Not fitted to a man I would say. Men don't have mood swings, once what will be their mood then that's what it is for the rest of the day except though if something terrible really happens. I often termed men who had mood swings as gays. I even have frustrations in my academic life as well. All those grades which I find myself hanging and to those grades that I think I don't deserve to have. I even promised to myself that once I failed to reach my grade goal this semester, I will never ever smile as long as I can't hit back. The promise seemed to be hard but it supposed to be that way because if I fail this time, I pretty sure that I would be kicked out of our division. The people in our division are literally strict when it comes to those kind of things. I just hoped that everything goes on well this time. I can't afford to make anymore mistakes that I have already done in the past. I have learned my lesson already but I think that it is already too late for me to fix everthing else. I wish I could go back in time and rearrange all the things that happened in my life. But I must face reality and reality is this. I can't do no more. All this things that I have learned and experienced in college was shared by me to my brother. I asked him about what course would he be taking and what college life is. I don't want my brother to be like me when he will be in college. I don't want him to experience that bitterness of my life. As an older brother it is my responsibility to take care and guide my younger brother towards a way where you really have a solid ground. I am not greedy not like other people who just let their young people do the things they want and let them experience what they have felt. I am very frustrated to those people who feel that they are something important. Making so much fuzz over little things that shouldn't be considered as a big one. Trying to get some attention. I hate those people who do that especially if they are not really deserving to get that kind of attention and yet there are people who go with then even they already knew about their kind of attitude. (sighs*) Well, what can we do about it? That is them. What I cared about right now is about the redemption thing that I am planning to have. But the boat is in the middle of the storm and I think that the boat cannot withstand the storm that is there so literally, I am sinking. When I reflect, I can't stop thinking about the past events that had happen in my life. All those painful events that happened. And I only wish that it would not happen again. Good day!

Happiness in the midst of pressure

Have you experienced being happy despite the pressures that you had been having? It is a wonderful feeling to have, it is like a refreshing sensation as if your problems are already solved but then you just set it aside just for the sake of relaxing from the heavy tasks that you are doing. All these pressures could blow your mind anytime soon, most especially if you see yourself not coping up with the pressures. Ever since I was in high schools I have already experienced heavy pressures not just in school but also at home. And before I went to college, I told myself that I could handle up the pressures that a college student could possibly have. But I was wrong, college pressures are way too futuristic than of high school pressures. You gotta give concern to your grades because the teacher won't just pull up your grade to make you pass. Once you get 74 and it will be it, the required grade for all the subjects for you not to retake it is 75. In high school, the teacher could just pull your grade up if you are 1 point or 2 points short to 75. In college, it is not. The teacher could even give you a grade of 60 FLAT. And the teacher would just smile at you and say 'you failed'. Because of these pressures we experience, we are unable to smile or even smile back to the people who smiled at us. Laugh is a sacred thing for students who have been pressured by academic factors.
I on the other hand, instead of going with the pressures, I was always thinking of an alternative to take out the pressures or just lessen up the load. I have several solutions to offer which I find very effective - for me. First solution is, when in pressure, at the midst of your heavy duty work. Stand up, limber up and sing your favorite song or just play the playlist that is in your computer or Ipod and sing with it. Second, stand up, limber up and play a disco ,music and dance with it up to the time that you are ready to get back to work. Next is stop from what you are doing and talk to whoever you wanted to talk to. Talk about things, any topic will do as long as it is not boring to discuss but one effective topic I would suggest - talk about the funniest things that had happen in your lives. Lastly, before you go to your work, be sure that you have a can of coke at your side. Everytime you limber up to stretch those muscles, have a sip with that ice cold coke by your side. And very lastly(sorry I still got one left), stand up and shout. What to shout? Shout all you want, anything will do. These five solutions are very effective in doing work in the midst of pressures. In that way, unconsciously you would feel like being energized to work again. And also in that way, you would find happiness in the work you are doing. Always put this in mind, always be happy in everything you do. Try to enjoy it in anyway you want. Good day!

Fighting Optimism

My posts have been a little bit delayed lately because of the final grading approaching. I gotta give a knockout punch to my subjects this finals in able for me to be safe this coming enrollment - the judgment for whether you could still stay in the division or not. Lately last month my optimism I had noticed that my optimism is slowly fading out. As if I was going to surrender and never fight anymore. I gone to lots of reminiscing and visualization. I have spent so much money for me to be able to relax myself and take away the pressures that is in me. I think that academic pressures caused all this depression that I have which also affects my optimism. That is the most important thing in the world for me - optimism. It's like an energy drink giving you the appetite to do work in the midst of tardiness. Giving you the adrenaline that you need in the time where your body seems to give up. Just like any other athletes who drink energy drink in the middle of the game to revitalize their energy and those students who drink energy drink in the middle of the night to make them stay awake studying for their incoming exams the next day. Optimism is like that, without it, me myself cannot withstand all these pressures that have been applied to me by various things. Life is an never ending narrow road with cliffs on it's side. One wrong step, you fall down.
In my case, I almost lost my optimism because of a single trip-off. One lesson learned, never give up in one hit. Always hit back...harder. As goes to one of my philosophies in life: Never surrender... tomorrow is another day. Good day

Discernment of the weak

Discernment is about choosing among or between the best choices. Discernment is different from decision making. Decision making is about choosing the right choice or the right answer while discernment is about choosing among the right answers. Example after you graduate in college you choose among pursuing you chosen career or indulge into business, that is where discernment comes in. Because both of the choices are the right choices. Unlike in decision making, example you gonna choose whether you would finish college or not, that is where decision making takes place. This article is about the discernment of the weak. Its about choosing the better among the worst. I have that in mind right now. What if I am forced to shift? What most likely would happen? I am totally weighing up the worst possible situations I would be in. First possible situation is shifting into another course where I would have to fit in again with different students with different personalities but staying at the same school. Next is transferring into another school that means another atmosphere and another environment. And finally, my parents would get angry at me and will do things to me that they have never done before. When I was still in high school they were close into doing those worst things to me so it will be possible that this time they will really do it to me. And I would skip school and go to our farm and work there, growing plants and be with the nature. I could never imagine what would happen to me. All of those are the worst of their kinds. It is always possible that those things will happen.
Last night, I was thinking about those things because I was not satisfied with my grade in physics. Despite of all the hard work that I have done, I only got the grade of 81. I passed all of the quizzes except for one and especially the exam. My grade in my quiz that I have failed is really not that low. I don't want to experience any of those 'worst things to happen'. I was thinking about 'God why should I be in this kind of situation? Are you testing my faith on you?'. I have done the right things, I have done my best but in turn this would be the outcome. Why should it be like this? Is God planning to turn me into like this? Does God wanted my life to be like this? Many said that you create the outcome of your life but there are situations that it just happens without you doing something. The bitterness of life it is.
For many years, sorrow is in me. Anger is with me but not to my parents and anybody else but anger to myself. Hating myself for my unworthiness and my incapability. Wearing of a mask that covers it all is warm. The mask fools everyone I know. Nobody knows me well, even my friends and even my family. I always wear a mask that would not show the real me for the real me is ugly, full of sorrow and anger. Why is that I am such a weakling? I am no good to anything. All I want is redemption, redemption in the sense that bringing back the trust that my parents once gave me. I have no anger planted deep within inside me to my parents because I know that wherever angle I look, I will always be wrong. Nothing seems to go in the right direction for me. They always fall off the cliff. I follow a narrow path with cliff in its side. As I was in the middle of the path, I would just fall of the cliff. Why? Why? Sorrow is enough, pain is enough for me but they just keep on coming back to me. It has haunted me ever since I started to have problems. My parents are good to other people but strict when it comes to us with my brother and stricter when it comes to me. I don't have anything anymore and yet life wanted to suck all the little juice that is left even though I got nothing left anymore. Bringing me down to my knees. Is this what my life has to be? What a pain. Can't stop to envy other people who had no problems at all and nothing to worry at all. I got all the problems, my shoulders are always loaded with problems in which are heavy for me to carry.

Love and Misunderstanding In My Life: Solutions To Misunderstanding

Good day! Have you ever experienced being misunderstood by the people around you? Have you ever tried explaining to them but they were unable to get the message right? Or You explained to them but you are unable to use the right words? Or simply You are tired of explaining to them because you already knew what would be the outcome of the conversation? Having these experience is difficult to bear most especially if the people that misunderstood you the most are the ones that you loved the most. This is one painful thing in life that we found confusing to answer. Why is it that they misunderstood me? First theory is the pride that they had. They don't want to hurt their pride just because they think they are right at the very beginning. Example of which is you try to explain to your parents why you had failed this particular subject. You failed because the teacher is a student hater. We couldn't avoid this kind of situations, there are teachers who gave their students a suffering of a lifetime. When you tired to explain this to them they would say 'You just didn't give you very best effort to pass the subject'. Then you simply reasoned out that 'less than half of the class has passed this subject' then they would say 'then you would like to count yourself among those who didn't pass?, don't say such a thing! you must always put in mind that you must be one of those who passed the subject!'. The question is, can you answer back? Most probably no but the most possible answer of you is 'but the teacher is just so cruel, she is not like any other teachers. look at some of my subjects, I passed them all with flying colors except for this one. It just mean that I am not the problem but the teacher itself. And why do half of my class failed? Even those who are smarter than me are just about to reach the passing grade'. Then they would say 'Don't answer back, it is your obligation as a student to give your very best in your studies. We paid for your college fees and this will be what we are receiving in return?'. I always experience this on hand everytime my mom sees my grade goes under the border. Everytime I experience this, I would just shut up and most probably cry in my seat. Why is it that It has to be like this? Can't they just admit that the teacher is just too cruel? or simply bad. The worst part is they always see themselves right. That is one thing about misunderstanding, misunderstanding is about the inability of one to look at the certain situation in a different point of view. Misunderstanding starts if one only looks and decides depending on what he/she sees from her point of view. If seeing and deciding on a certain situation always put yourself in a mood that you are open to listen to different opinions in a different perspective. Or just simply lower down your pride and try to hear other people's opinions. Especially to those who experience it first hand.
There are many consequences once you let yourself put on top in every situation. Misunderstanding has a lot of effects, maybe you can't see it on you but you can see it on the other people. The most dangerous thing is if having a misunderstanding with someone who bottles up emotions. Lower your pride a bit and surely you will have a nice conversation. The thing is, when this happens all the time everytime there is a conversation, the people whom you misunderstood would be negative to you. As for me, I got used to being misunderstood by the fact that my parents always listens to themselves. My dad is different, he looks at the situation and react but there are certain situations that he is unable to do that. I didn't plant any anger against my parents because I love them. I just try to avoid conversations and when there is a potential misunderstanding coming, I would just shut up and listen to them. I couldn't change the way they are thinking anymore but I will just adapt on what they are. Anyway, they are my parents and I don't have the right to raise a voice on them. It is just when it comes to family, moms are the ones who can understand their children the most but in my situation she is the one who could hardly understand and cannot swallow her pride that easily. As long as she thinks she is right and then that would be it. During my high school days, I became rebellious because of their misunderstanding. I just starting to feel that I don't have any rooms when we are starting to have a conversation. As what my dad said to me 'You Are Just My Son, You Don't Have The Right To Talk'. That was really painful for me but in turn I swallowed my pride and just blame everything on me.
Painful as it is but there would be no other choices left but to hit the deck and swallow your pride. As I matured and went to college, more and more of that came into me. But I got nothing to do anymore, the more I talk, the angrier they would be so shutting up is my only option. And just let them win, I even promised to myself that someday if I am going to have a family, I would not misunderstand my children so they would not grow up like me. I grew up under the shadows of my parents. They are achievers, while I am not. They always told me to blame myself for everything wrong that has happened to me when it should not be. There are certain situations that you couldn't blame yourself for letting it happen.I even found myself in the middle of envy everytime when I see my brother being understood by them. I sometimes thought that I wish I could be the younger one. My brother is more free than me. I can't blame them for what they are but just accept them for what they are. Love is always there everytime I started to hate them. I could never do that though some teenagers do that but I won't. From the painful experiences that I have, I still have the appetite to love them back. Most especially in the case of my mother who misunderstands me a lot. I just realized that anger would just consume the person in you and anger destroys you yourself. Not just yourself but also the people around you, it affects everything. One important lesson I learned is that if misunderstood then just shut up and listen. If you are annoyed then release it somewhere else. One effective anger removal is talking to yourself. Talk to yourself as if they are facing you and tell them what you wanted them to hear from you - supposedly. After that, you would feel the relief you had. Then move on from that. Don't bring it back, it is already over. And don't ever opening it back or else the hole would just get deeper. Hope this could help yourselves. Good day.

Vocation: A calling

Good day guys. This morning, we talked about vocation in our theology class. I find it interesting to be talked about so here I am, talking about vocation itself. As what said in the dictionary, vocation is about a feeling of choosing a particular career. What I have in my mind is that vocation is making a positive attitude towards a particular career. It is about choosing a certain path in life that some have no solid grounds to step on. Meaning we are not so sure about the path we are choosing to if it would lead us to the right destination safely. Faith and Belief in yourself and God is one important thing in vocation. It doesn't mean that you are unworthy you don't have any vocations. Vocation too can be termed as a mission in life. A fulfillment of a mission that would make us be a better person someday.
To make it simple, vocation is like, 'What would I do with my life?'. We kept on searching for answers. The more we search about it, the more we are lost. Answers can be found along the way. New missions can also be found along the way. Only you yourself can identify which one is it. And you are also the only that can gain benefit to it. Vocation for some is a calling from God. Actually, there are a lot of meaning about vocation but let's put it this way. Vocation came fro the Latin word 'Vocare' it means to be called. In short, vocation is about the calling of yourself to a mission. Its either a calling from God or a calling from yourself that you need to mature. Many people found themselves unworthy and thought that they have no vocations just because they are unworthy or useless. No, each one of us has his/her vocation. We got different vocations in life and so as our personalities. It is up to us on how we answer our vocations in life.
To generalize everything, vocation is a mission in life that requires us to step in a ground that is not solid enough for us to step in. And it requires us faith and belief to yourself and to God to fulfill this mission. Good day.

Your Failures Do Not Define You

Good day everyone! Everybody in this whole world experiences failure. Failure will always be a part of our lives. Even though how successful we are in our lives, we always experience failure. Failures molds not only our future but also our personality. In failures we learn so many things. There are failures that are hard to swallow and there are failures which we can carry on like nothing happens. But failures, once experienced, is always demoralizing. Demoralizing in the thought that we are bad or we are just incapable of something. Many people judge individuals who had failure in everything. Just because you failed it doesn't mean you are no good. The question is why do other people commit failures less than other people? Luck? No. Luck is not a basis of your achievements, luck are opportunities that suddenly shows up in the middle of the storm. Actually, each one of us is lucky its just that we are unable to take the opportunity behind it or we are unable to see the opportunity that lies behind.
I had experienced failure ever since I was born. My life is full of failures. In everything I do, I always commit failure. Especially in my college life, its always crowded with it. Most of it are demoralizing and painful. One lesson I learned behind this failures is that you must always stand up in each failure you have, even though how demoralizing it is. Just stand up and hit back. There is nothing we can do about it just stand up and learn from it like riding a bike. Many people over the years judged me of what I am. Many people doubted me of my capabilities. One painful things is that even your family members would doubt you on your capabilities. I have experienced it all, demoralizing or not, I would just stand up and fight back. One secret is when you fail on one thing, don't tell yourself that you are incapable of doing it or you are just stupid. Instead, ask yourself, 'what can I do with this? or what should I do?' at the long run, you'll never notice that you are fighting back and really hitting it hard. I was born like this, maybe its my curse but the thing that I would like to boast is my fighting spirit. I failed many times already but I just don't know how to give up until I have proven myself that I can't do it. Many people say that I was born a failure, yes I am, but don't tell me that I would just give up. Even though with my parents doubting me, I still continue to fight. Not for redemption or proving them wrong but for my learning curve itself. I always have this belief that people who commit failures more often are way better than those who experience them less. Better in the way that you have a more improved personality than they are. Better in the way that you could easily stand up even though how demoralizing it was. I have listened and talked to people who experience a demoralizing failure for the first time in their lives. One thing common about them is they don't know where to start. My advice is, stand up where you are and start there. Correct your own mistakes, learn form them. Some even have traumas about it but I don't have any anymore. It takes for one to lose before experiencing winning. When I was a kid, I got trauma about it but in the long run, I find it challenging. Its like challenging my personality prowess. Because of that, I am starting to love challenges, not to the point that I am searching for one but to the point that I am ready to face it.
I would like to share this thing because people nowadays especially teenagers, when experiencing demoralizing failures, just gives up on it. I would always admit that I was born a looser but I will give you a hell of a fight. As a guy who experiences failure more often, I am very open to those people who seeks advice. I am not the type of person who leaves anybody behind. I will help you as long as I can. My looks might tell you that I am not serious but looks can fool people. Giving up leads you to nowhere and giving up makes you a complete failure. Up to now, many people doubted me. Blessed are those who trust me and believes that I can do it but the only people who could believe are those people like me - a failure in life. I am glad that I was a failure, I am happy with it. When I experience a demoralizing failure I just close my eyes, concentrate or meditate, when I am ready then I would tell myself, hit back as hard as you can. Your Failures Will Never Define The Person You Are dude. Don't show them that you are weak on the inside, show them that you are a warrior. As for me, attitude will always be an important factor in life - The warrior/fighter attitude.
To generalize everything, once you experience a demoralizing failure, just close your eyes, concentrate, and tell yourself to hit back, you can do it. Just count this as a lesson learned and stand up from where you are and start there. I hope this could help you guys when experiencing failure. Good day.