Monday, March 15, 2010

Frustration Ahead...

Good day! Frustration will always be a part of our lives. It is the one that pulls our morale downwards or maybe pull it upwards depending on the frustration that one has. As for me at this moment, the frustration that I have has grown drastically that made me reminisce and reflect about it. My optimism, I would say, has been affected too but not really that big. Because of my optimism I am still rock solid right now to my beliefs of redemption. Just later today I found out that the girl that I really like had some guy way back there to the place where she was born. It was not frustration but disappointment but the frustration there is that is why she is not replying on the chats that I try to initiate. Why can't she just tell me to stop. Another is our teacher in theology who really frustrated us all in our class. He had this thing in him that we really hate the most. Take note, he had sudden mood swings! Not fitted to a man I would say. Men don't have mood swings, once what will be their mood then that's what it is for the rest of the day except though if something terrible really happens. I often termed men who had mood swings as gays. I even have frustrations in my academic life as well. All those grades which I find myself hanging and to those grades that I think I don't deserve to have. I even promised to myself that once I failed to reach my grade goal this semester, I will never ever smile as long as I can't hit back. The promise seemed to be hard but it supposed to be that way because if I fail this time, I pretty sure that I would be kicked out of our division. The people in our division are literally strict when it comes to those kind of things. I just hoped that everything goes on well this time. I can't afford to make anymore mistakes that I have already done in the past. I have learned my lesson already but I think that it is already too late for me to fix everthing else. I wish I could go back in time and rearrange all the things that happened in my life. But I must face reality and reality is this. I can't do no more. All this things that I have learned and experienced in college was shared by me to my brother. I asked him about what course would he be taking and what college life is. I don't want my brother to be like me when he will be in college. I don't want him to experience that bitterness of my life. As an older brother it is my responsibility to take care and guide my younger brother towards a way where you really have a solid ground. I am not greedy not like other people who just let their young people do the things they want and let them experience what they have felt. I am very frustrated to those people who feel that they are something important. Making so much fuzz over little things that shouldn't be considered as a big one. Trying to get some attention. I hate those people who do that especially if they are not really deserving to get that kind of attention and yet there are people who go with then even they already knew about their kind of attitude. (sighs*) Well, what can we do about it? That is them. What I cared about right now is about the redemption thing that I am planning to have. But the boat is in the middle of the storm and I think that the boat cannot withstand the storm that is there so literally, I am sinking. When I reflect, I can't stop thinking about the past events that had happen in my life. All those painful events that happened. And I only wish that it would not happen again. Good day!

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