Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Love and Misunderstanding In My Life: Solutions To Misunderstanding

Good day! Have you ever experienced being misunderstood by the people around you? Have you ever tried explaining to them but they were unable to get the message right? Or You explained to them but you are unable to use the right words? Or simply You are tired of explaining to them because you already knew what would be the outcome of the conversation? Having these experience is difficult to bear most especially if the people that misunderstood you the most are the ones that you loved the most. This is one painful thing in life that we found confusing to answer. Why is it that they misunderstood me? First theory is the pride that they had. They don't want to hurt their pride just because they think they are right at the very beginning. Example of which is you try to explain to your parents why you had failed this particular subject. You failed because the teacher is a student hater. We couldn't avoid this kind of situations, there are teachers who gave their students a suffering of a lifetime. When you tired to explain this to them they would say 'You just didn't give you very best effort to pass the subject'. Then you simply reasoned out that 'less than half of the class has passed this subject' then they would say 'then you would like to count yourself among those who didn't pass?, don't say such a thing! you must always put in mind that you must be one of those who passed the subject!'. The question is, can you answer back? Most probably no but the most possible answer of you is 'but the teacher is just so cruel, she is not like any other teachers. look at some of my subjects, I passed them all with flying colors except for this one. It just mean that I am not the problem but the teacher itself. And why do half of my class failed? Even those who are smarter than me are just about to reach the passing grade'. Then they would say 'Don't answer back, it is your obligation as a student to give your very best in your studies. We paid for your college fees and this will be what we are receiving in return?'. I always experience this on hand everytime my mom sees my grade goes under the border. Everytime I experience this, I would just shut up and most probably cry in my seat. Why is it that It has to be like this? Can't they just admit that the teacher is just too cruel? or simply bad. The worst part is they always see themselves right. That is one thing about misunderstanding, misunderstanding is about the inability of one to look at the certain situation in a different point of view. Misunderstanding starts if one only looks and decides depending on what he/she sees from her point of view. If seeing and deciding on a certain situation always put yourself in a mood that you are open to listen to different opinions in a different perspective. Or just simply lower down your pride and try to hear other people's opinions. Especially to those who experience it first hand.
There are many consequences once you let yourself put on top in every situation. Misunderstanding has a lot of effects, maybe you can't see it on you but you can see it on the other people. The most dangerous thing is if having a misunderstanding with someone who bottles up emotions. Lower your pride a bit and surely you will have a nice conversation. The thing is, when this happens all the time everytime there is a conversation, the people whom you misunderstood would be negative to you. As for me, I got used to being misunderstood by the fact that my parents always listens to themselves. My dad is different, he looks at the situation and react but there are certain situations that he is unable to do that. I didn't plant any anger against my parents because I love them. I just try to avoid conversations and when there is a potential misunderstanding coming, I would just shut up and listen to them. I couldn't change the way they are thinking anymore but I will just adapt on what they are. Anyway, they are my parents and I don't have the right to raise a voice on them. It is just when it comes to family, moms are the ones who can understand their children the most but in my situation she is the one who could hardly understand and cannot swallow her pride that easily. As long as she thinks she is right and then that would be it. During my high school days, I became rebellious because of their misunderstanding. I just starting to feel that I don't have any rooms when we are starting to have a conversation. As what my dad said to me 'You Are Just My Son, You Don't Have The Right To Talk'. That was really painful for me but in turn I swallowed my pride and just blame everything on me.
Painful as it is but there would be no other choices left but to hit the deck and swallow your pride. As I matured and went to college, more and more of that came into me. But I got nothing to do anymore, the more I talk, the angrier they would be so shutting up is my only option. And just let them win, I even promised to myself that someday if I am going to have a family, I would not misunderstand my children so they would not grow up like me. I grew up under the shadows of my parents. They are achievers, while I am not. They always told me to blame myself for everything wrong that has happened to me when it should not be. There are certain situations that you couldn't blame yourself for letting it happen.I even found myself in the middle of envy everytime when I see my brother being understood by them. I sometimes thought that I wish I could be the younger one. My brother is more free than me. I can't blame them for what they are but just accept them for what they are. Love is always there everytime I started to hate them. I could never do that though some teenagers do that but I won't. From the painful experiences that I have, I still have the appetite to love them back. Most especially in the case of my mother who misunderstands me a lot. I just realized that anger would just consume the person in you and anger destroys you yourself. Not just yourself but also the people around you, it affects everything. One important lesson I learned is that if misunderstood then just shut up and listen. If you are annoyed then release it somewhere else. One effective anger removal is talking to yourself. Talk to yourself as if they are facing you and tell them what you wanted them to hear from you - supposedly. After that, you would feel the relief you had. Then move on from that. Don't bring it back, it is already over. And don't ever opening it back or else the hole would just get deeper. Hope this could help yourselves. Good day.

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