Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Atheism: The misuse of God's name

Greetings! We in the third world country are known to be strong believers of God but we are unknowingly an atheist country without an atheist idealism. We, as part of a nation that is struggling to stand ground in a rich Asian continent, have been exposed in the different faces of poverty. There is always the question, why are we poor? Why are we struggling that we had the resources that we needed? Those are the questions often asked by the people of our nation both rich and poor. I have interviewed one guy, I asked him: Do you have a job sir? he said: No. How about your wife? he said: Yes, she washes other peoples laundry. How many kids do you have sir? he said: Four(4). I told him straight to the point that, "and that would be the reason why you are struggling". He told me: No, it's just God. He gave us this life and he wants us to live this kind of life. I told him: Then what about those people who belong to the middle class up to the upper class? He answered: That's what God wanted them to be. We have been forsaken by God. That is the reason why we are poor. As I noticed that he was getting annoyed in me asking so much question about their situation, I walked away and made some reflections of my own. If God loves us then why are there poor? Why are we not in the same class? The answer lies on our belief about God. We are using the name God in a different context which I think violates one of his commandments which is "Never use the name of the Lord thy God in vain". I again, interviewed another citizen. I asked him the same questions and the answers are just the same. Then I asked him some additional questions. I asked: When do you plan to work? He answered: I don't know. Let God decide when. I again asked: If ever your were given a work, where and what kind of work do you want? He answered: I wanna be a manager of a company. I asked: Are you a college graduate sir? He answered: No, I'm a high school undergraduate. I asked: May I know why you haven't finished your high school? He answered: I don't want to go to school. And I ended up the discussion with a nice thank you and a smile.
I just realized that they are not doing anything for the good of their selves. Poverty is about the incapability of an individual to choose the most important things to provide themselves a standard living. In short, poverty is only to the people who are lazy enough to provide themselves something to eat. As the elections ended in a fashionable way, I say even our president cannot solve poverty. I do believe that he is capable of leading the country but poverty is unsolvable unless the people does something that could get them out of poverty line. The president can provide us with pile of programs but without the cooperation of people to apply the teachings that were provided in those programs, poverty is far beyond solvable.
Blaming God for all the fortunes that even these people themselves are incapable of doing something right is a big mistake. There is a saying that says, "Do your best and God will do the rest". Those people's that I have interviewed made a big violation in God's writings. Good day!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

NBA Finals 2010: My Personal Review

Greetings! NBA finals is coming up! Game 1 will be played tomorrow in Los Angeles. This would be an exciting rematch between two teams that had revived the sleeping rivalry that they had over the years. Two years ago, the Boston Celtics won the championship and let L.A. have a taste of defeat due to lack of experience of some of the key players. Although Kobe Bryant and Derek Fisher had already won 4 championships together in a Laker uniform. They still have to polish some of their players that later on became the key to their championship run in 2009 and defeated the Orlando Magic. One of these players whose game improved after that disappointing loss to the Boston Celtics two years ago is Pau Gasol. This year, he again has to prove himself that he is a legitimate support to superstar Kobe Bryant. He had proved it last year by outplaying Orlando's Dwight Howard. Making play after play, he had proved himself a champion and he also had wrong the people who had wronged him. He had wowed those people who criticized his game. This year, I am looking forward to him outplaying Kevin Garnett. According to www.NBA.com, Lakers are better this time than they were two years ago. The Celtics on the other hand still has to prove themselves that they could still do it. With James Posey, Sam Cassell and PJ Brown gone, they have to rely on their young and new guns. We had witnessed how Nate Robinson can change to pace of the game from the bench, Sheed on his terrific defense on Dwight Howard, Big baby Davis proving everybody that even though undersized, he can still compete with bigger guys and lastly, Rajon Rondo turned from a regular point guard into an all-star point guard that is capable of having triple doubles of his own.
I am very excited for the game 1 tomorrow. I'm sure that it would be a very physical game between the two teams. And again, as we all expected, Kobe Bryant will again display his greatness in this grueling best of seven NBA Finals game. I'm again expecting to see that "smack-down" attitude that the Celtics possesses according to Coach Phil Jackson. I loot for the Lakers this year. I do believe on their capability to win. They have won the Championship last year so winning it again this year wouldn't be a burden but expect the Celtics to give them a hard time winning games.
That would be all guys. Good day! Don't forget to watch the NBA Finals tomorrow :)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Everything Happens For A Reason and Vacation Sickness

Greetings! After all these delay, I was able to write back again. Imagine being sick for a week and not to mention not being able to take a bath for a week. If any of you would wonder if how sick I was. Well, I was really sick. I suffered from UTI(Urinary Track Infection), my pus cells is above the limit so I was in danger of being hospitalized. Good thing I wasn't brought there. I just stayed at home and had the timely rest that I need. I even wasn't able to show up for our company's User Acceptance Test where the company is going to accept the software that we made for them. I even asked my friend to upload my PHP site in a domain for me because I was too sick to handle a computer. My sight would go round and round immediately if I would look at the screen of my computer. What a vacation I got. Plus the addition of our ever noisy grandmother who just kept on talking even up to the times that you wanted to lay your head in the pillow and all you have to hear is her annoying voice. GGGRRRR! Even having difficulty in eating a meal because my tooth felt something like it's going to give in. I also vomit a lot. And lastly, nothing beats the taste of hard rock tablets.
Anyway, I do really believe in the notion "Everything Happens For A Reason". When I come to think about it. I just realized that the day before I got sick, I was in a good shape. Then on the day that I got sick I suddenly go from 100% to 10%. It was like my energy has been drained from me. The day before I got sick, I even had a nice game of starcraft and before that I had made the time to go to the mall. Then suddenly my body gives up. Then when I got home I just realized of how sick I was. My body temperature went up to 39.4 degrees. With the sickness I had I just can't stop thinking of how did I got sick? Then this optimism stroke me. Everything Happens For A Reason. Well, I truly believe in that notion said by my father to me. For me, God doesn't want us to suffer for nothing. Every suffering has its own opposite and equivalent reaction. One of my theories is that something good is installed for me in the future and that so God gave me this suffering. Well, I'm okay now, I am slowly recovering from the aftershock of my sickness and so everything would be alright.
Everything just went out of place when I got sick. My facebook account is in idle. My blogger account is in idle too. My social life is in idle too. When I got sick, I was so worried about my grades. I don't know why I started to worry about them. When I calculated them they just totaled to 81%. I lack 1% to reach the cut-off grade. It scared me that I am already in my fourth year then I would be forced to shift. But I changed that notion and set my mind in it's positive state. I stayed positive that they would reconsider my grade and remain as a CS student until I graduate. And I just realized by now that ever since I started to live a positive life. Good things happen to me even though I still got those hard moments and yet my optimism just kicks in and it just made me feel good. A year already passed since I been starting to live this kind of lifestyle. The slide was I became more carefree and happy-go-lucky than before. I was always overdue in my budget. I easily lost track in my money and I got fatter. I was unaware that living an optimistic life requires you to adjust too. I am slowly adjusting to it as of the moment. My body is back to it's normal not-so-fate-not-so-thin figure. I am starting to save money. And my budgeting powers is back. I am so ready for the next challenge that I am going to face. The next semester! Wish me luck guys! God Bless and Good day!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Blue Funk Re-emerging

Good aftie guys. I had been sad these weekend. I don't know how and why it happened but it's maybe because of the atmosphere in our home in the province. It all started when my dad forbid me to drink with him along with older guys. He said, I shouldn't do it. I am already 19 and going on 20 this December. It really saddened me because for the past years I have been drinking with the older guys in the tennis court along with my dad. I have waited for so long to be blessed with freedom to do what adults can do. The adults in the tennis court gives me beer and so I drink on and on. I guess I wouldn't go with them anymore in the tennis court. I hate it when they forbid me on something that I have already been doing ever since I came into the legal age. Then came when my mom kept on asking for my grades last semester. She kept on bragging me about that thing. It really annoys me a lot. I guess I really had to start meditating again just like the old times. I fear that I lost my touch of concentrating to meditate for so long. I felt that I am unhealthy right now. I got no exercise, no gluttony control and no meditation, not to mention those annoying people around me that pisses me off. Even in our boarding house, my landlord and landlady frustrates me a lot. I found them greedy and corrupt. First of all, the boarding house is not that accommodating and yet the rent is high. Things are not complete not like the other boarding houses. We boarders can't even watch TV in their living room, we cannot cook food for ourselves that we have the hassle to buy for food outside the house, we don't have water, the place is not an ideal place to leave. First, it is infested with roaches and rats, the canals stink at night, neighbors are so noisy and the annoying anti-thief alarm that rings every time we go home past 10pm. The room is warm and hot and the bed is small. And even when it is not your time to pay your rent, they brag you about paying your rent. I hate that boarding house a lot. I wish I could find something nice and comfortable. I got no choice but to live in the place where my parents chose me to live. They pay for it. Even though they wouldn't said it but they don't want me to stay in a dorm that is comfortable. Everyday, I live like a rat, even live among them. When my brother goes to college, I speculated that they would pick a better place for him to live. It's said to think that I am always the sacrificial lamb and my brother always do have the benefits. I am not saying that I don't want him to live better but it is always unfair to me but I learned to live this kind of life. They would send you in an unknown battle field so that the next person who comes after you would already have known the battlefield and would later perform better for its future. Sacrifice, it's always been part of my life. Some are useful and some just went to waste. How I wish I was the younger brother but gotta face reality. Envy is always been a part of my life. Envy of not being heard despite the pain being experienced. Ended up just listening like a stupid homeless man being scolded for not finding a job to support himself. Envy of seeing my brother scooping up the freedom to do the things that our parents forbid me to do before. By looking at those things, I was hurt a lot but gotta move on. Thou shall not be stuck to the things that doesn't affect the future. Envy is bad but for once in a while you can't stop thinking about it. Can't even ask something straight to them. I gotta save to have that something. There is no problem in asking for something to them but in the time that I am in trouble, I ended up listening to them on counting all the things they have given unto me. I thought it was free but still you gotta pay for it. It would be better if you save money and spend it to the things that you want. I envy on my brother that can ask anything to them. Shoes are great examples. How I love my dad's shoes but it always ends up in my brother's possession. What kind of family I got? I thank God for having a complete family but... Having a team complete with players but still the team has no chemistry. The team will not work as it was to work. My parents always say that we have given everything to you our son but learn how to look at it in different angles. One painful experience is when I want to buy an ipod. I saved money but in the end, I came up short with the money so my mom promised me to add up for me to afford it. Then came the time when I got into trouble, she simply told me in front of my very eyes that "I bought you an ipod and yet, this is the thing you would replace me for it?". I was like stoned when I heard that and I was in tears. In my mind says that it's better to have nothing than to have something which got an exchange at the end. They even scolded me that they had sent me to an expensive school but I just gave them something unpleasant in return. I understand them but its painful to hear that kind of thing despite the things that you are doing to pass a subject.
The feeling of loneliness is always beside me. I am always positive in life but it always goes the other way. I felt like I was living alone. Even as I got home during the weekends, I still felt that felling of loneliness. As if I was lured form a smaller hole into a bigger hole. Smaller hole because I was alone in a city of the unknown and bigger because I was brought back to history of my painful past. Either way is not a good idea but its better to choose one than to be undecided and be in the middle of something where you would be surrounded by an active world. Up to now, I couldn't still find a perfect place for me to be happy. Good day.

Friday, April 30, 2010


Give me a break. I wanna have a vacation. To these 2 weeks of summer class, I just had enough. This is the most exhausting summer class that I have been. To my past 2 summer classes I have never experienced the exhaustion that it has to offer and I was never interested to experience exhaustion in summer class. I mean summer class is suppose to be easy-going and has no pressures when it comes to grades. Our teacher is different, whether it is summer class or not he still has his traditional ways. Just now, he ate 30 minutes of our lab time. It really pissed me off. What pisses me off is his boring discussions with all of his boring accents that sets the atmosphere of sleepiness. Imagine having 3/4 of the class sleeping and 1/4 of the class half-asleep. And not just that, he is pressuring us with our grades if we submit our activities late on time. No pressures please. All these things pisses me off. Our teacher is great but his teaching ways sucks. Sorry for the use of words but I don't really know what word suits it up the best.
In our lecture time, we had this copy and answer quiz. Think about it, there are 20 questions each with 8-15 words on it and all the answers must be written below the questions. And imagine writing it in a 1/2 yellow paper. Aside from it doesn't have enough space, it eats a lot of time. And in the later part of the exam, our teacher declared that we can write our answer immediately without writing the questions anymore if we know the answer already. Because today is a scheduled power outage from 1pm-5pm but it never happened. Our teacher said that if in case the power outage comes, we won't have any trouble answering the questions that were posted in the power point because we have it all written already in our papers---that was our teacher's idea. We are supposed to be set out at 2:30pm but our teacher set us at 3:00pm.
That would be all folks. See yah in the next article. Good day!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sleepy Days

Good day! I don't know what happened to me to this past few days. I have become sleepier and sleepier as the week comes to an end. I mean, I sleep in between class, even as I wake up I still want to stick my back in bed. It's not about the atmosphere but maybe it is just in me. Lately, I have been sleeping late and this morning, I woke up around 5:30 to work on my php activity but I ended up on abandoning it in the middle of a problem because I go super sleepy already. Plus our teacher, especially the one who teaches PHP, sets the atmosphere that even the smartest in our class had fallen asleep for it. I mean, our teacher is boring! Really! It's frustrating to go in a class where you know what you are going to do aside from listening - sleeping. We had made his subject as a siesta subject and he doesn't mind it. There was a time that 90% of the class fell asleep and the remaining 10% is half asleep. In other words, all of us are in sleep mode. Just now, I fell asleep in a bench outside our room and I was unable to attend our lecture class. I just couldn't remember when was the last time that I didn't attend class because of an unnecessary reason. And now, I ended up here in the lab, instead of working, I just blogged and nothing more than downloading free web templates.
I lost my appetite in working again. Tomorrow would be our scheduled walk-through to our company, I'm a little nervous but I think I shouldn't because one of my group-mates is the owner's son.haha! But I shouldn't lay my shoulders back too much, my friend said that they are strict when it comes to business matters and these software can affect their business if not done well. And I still have some problems regarding the software, I still lacked some queries for the reports. In reality, I am still halfway done in the software and I am not having any further developments. Why have I grown tardy nowadays? It looks like I have not enough gas left in the tank. I better recharge myself up but in what way?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Love For Writing

Throughout my whole blogging career that started way back when I was 16, I just now realized how am I really attached to writing. My love for writing started when I got the idea to write the things that happened in my life. Especially that I am a problematic person. I name it as one of my weaknesses in my life. I tend to worry so much on little things that it could cause problems. I can't stop thinking about it until I assured it to be okay. At first, I don't like writing because my grammar is not that good. My friends even laugh at me when they see something not right in my words. At first it bothered me and so I stop writing. When the time came that my problems are already beyond my reach, I found refuge in writing. I never realized how relaxing writing is. It provides me comfort despite the problems that I face in school. I tend to just laugh about it after I read the articles that I write during that time. Even this time, I stopped writing because I got nothing to write anymore or I just run out of ideas. But now, I am back on track. Instead of making this blog a productive blog full of advertisements and things that could make money easier, I chose to make it as a diary. Writing all the current events in my life, it's either funny, sad, embarrassing or annoying, I just write it all as if I don't mind if anybody is reading it. It is obvious that this time of the year, I must have written a lot of articles but instead I just gather it all and then write them all up in one article. This way, I could save up the topics that I could write, at least my article would not just focus in one topic but many topics.
Anyway, later this day, I found out that I am halfway done in our software for the company. I was so happy that I didn't do anything this morning instead of finishing it. I just watched the box scores in www.NBA.com and Facebook. All morning, that's what I did. And I have forgotten about the exam that we will be having this afternoon for my other subject. In other words, I didn't study and I didn't do anything this day. It's like I am physically present in school but mentally absent for it. And later this afternoon as I took the exam, I realized that the questions are not that difficult but there are 70 questions. I managed to finish all of it in just 20 minutes. Not much of an analytic exam but much on the tricky type of exam. You gotta have sharp eyes if you wanna pass. And this day, I am obliged to finish so many things, like our software, some documents for the software and an activity but me and my friend decided to just take a day off and have some coffee. I just wonder when will I be finished with the things that I must do within this week.
Even with this pile of problems and tardiness time, I still find that time to write even though I feel like I don't want to. I should conclude that I really love writing above all. I didn't wish to be one big time writer or earn money through this but only wished to share everything that I had in the tank through this article. Writing sometimes can dry up your mind but it's fun once you read some of those old articles that you wrote and realized that how grammatically wrong are the sentences in your article are. And eventually laugh about it -- A lot! I always love to laugh at my mistakes in the past that I find funny. Anyway, it would be all guys. See ya!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Texas Rivalry and NBA playoffs

Greetings! Start the morning with the freshness of an NBA game. Nothing really beats the physical game of a playoff game. This is the first week of the playoffs and things starting to heat up as well, with players giving up, let us say, out of the context comments that caused fans to be raged up and be fueled up as the visiting team plays against their team. The raging fans in the sideline that shouts every time a player like Dwight Howard is doing a free throw. We would often see players rolling and stumbling into the floor as the game gets physical. I really love to watch the Lakers-Thunder game, I would like to see how can the Thunder manage to crack up the defending champs. But nothing beats the rivalries like the Spurs-Mavs had. I mean, they had that rivalry ever since Dirk Nowitzki shone in the Mavs uniform and Tim Duncan started carrying the team as the legend David Robinson retired. It's almost 10 years already since their rivalry began. And now, these two men faced up each other in a classic Texas rivalry match-up. The mavs won game 1 and the Spurs won game 2. Game 3 will be played in the Spurs homecourt so expect raged fans all over the sidelines shouting as Dirk Nowitzki misses a shot and as Tim Duncan makes a shot with his amazing post moves. I could say that both teams are matched up but I should say that the Spurs is slowly showing up it's age against a prime invaded mavs team. And yet, the tres amigos namely Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker and now with the addition of Richard Jefferson that makes them, according to www.NBA.com,the fab four. And yet, the Spurs brilliance is shines even with their aging players. Tim Duncan is not as dominating in the paint as he was before but still possesses the experience and those classic post moves that don't go out of fashion even through the time. Manu Ginobili's sweet lefty drives. Tony Parkers no fear slashes and now Richard Jefferson's 'doing everything I can do' attitude.
The spurs maybe a strong opponent as before but let us not underestimate the Mavs team. Now, with the addition of key players like Shawn Marion, Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood, I can say that it's going to be a nice and physical game out there. With their players in their prime now, I'm sure they would like to show the Spurs that we are worthy of facing the Lakers in the conference finals. The mavs had lost Josh Howard whom is the key for their wins in their 2006 championship run but they still had the scoring duo of Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry and the solid big man Erick Dampier. Breaking them down, they got Dirk's sweet jumpers, Terry's scoring capabilities even though he is too small for a shooting guard, Erick Dampier's solid presence in the paint. Now with the addition of Marion's lock down defense and high leaping capabilities, Caron Butler's no fear scoring attitude and Brendan Haywood's big body clogging in the paint.
I might be over biased that I only managed to break down the Texas rivalry game. And yet I still see it as the most exciting game in the playoffs. That's all folks! See you in game 3. Good day!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Hot and Tiring Summer

Greetings! Summertime is here and the heat is starting to get into my nerves. Yes, it is extremely hot today here in the Philippines. It even affected my blogging appetite. It seemed that I lost my appetite in writing articles. I even thought that I lost my edge in speaking and writing articles in English language. I thought that I missed a month of writing anything. But the last article that I wrote was last April 6 so, I just lost everything else. My mind is so crowded that I got overwhelmed in my schedules and subjects this summer class. I have forgotten the fact that I am maintaining a blog site in which I would write all my experiences. Anyway, this summer, all I did is play starcraft: broodwars. I am actually a little late that I fell in love in the game when the starcraft 2 is coming out of the market soon. I am really not good in playing skirmishes with the computer so I made the idea to just play in campaign mode. I am starting in my campaign mode in terran. After is the protoss then lastly the zerg. I should blame my fiend for this. He lured me to play starcraft. I played this game before but it didn't really clicked on my taste. Because of the starcraft fever that I have. I was beginning to watch starcraft game replays in www.youtube.com.
The other thing that I did this summer is updating the software that we are working to be given to the company as part of our subject. The revisions was like hell. I even thought that the revisions that were given by our panelists were the final ones already. But this summer, our adviser found something that we couldn't take our eyes from it and he even challenged us on our software design because our design was a little out of fashion or let us say, our design is a little old school or it is really an old school design.
Lastly, is the PHP program that we are working for our other subject. I thought that it is like doing a html program but I underestimated it so much that I am always late in passing our activities. PHP rocks! But you got to exert so much effort to make it work like facebook. I am still working on my login php script, can anybody help me? It's difficult. I kept on looking for sources in the net but I find it hard to understand the sources. I will just work on it this weekend. I'll give myself a day to work on it. And the next day is for our company's program. In other words, this weekend, I'm gonna be in full load. I hope facebook will not disrupt by concentration (laughs). I'm setting my goal this weekend and No Facebook this weekend.
This is such a long article. I should have written a longer one for the weeks that I missed. But anyway, I am back on track now so expect a series of articles that is related to starcraft, software designs and revisions and lastly, PHP codes. Good day.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Hope Revival

Good day! It has been a long time since I have written up in my blog. I am not busy as of this last few weeks but I just have forgotten. Sorry:) And I have nothing to write too. I was really busy thinking about my grades. Just this morning, I got a call from my friend saying that I passed and I would be staying in the division. I was so happy that I almost forgot to cook for our lunch and I am running out of time because my parents are coming home already. What a week it was for me just to think about how did I do with the other subjects. Maybe I had also forgotten how to be positive in life. I kept on wondering why in situations like this I always forgot to be positive. All of my pessimistic behaviors would surface out? Well, all those worries are over by now. I got my grades already and they are GREAT! My hopes are back again and I hope that I would survive up to the end. I will just have to take it one by one, little by little. As of the moment, I got nothing to write, I got nothing in my mind. Maybe I would just share the things that I have done earlier this week and last week. Last week, I have to make a quick review on my lessons because of the SBA(Skills-Based Assessment). I was really nervous that time. The unfortunate this that happened was the modules that I have studied are not the ones who came out in my SBA. Our SBA is made up of 3 in each group. Each member has his own set and I have studied the wrong set. :)) It was so funny but we still made it. We got a perfect group score but my individual score is a little bit disappointing. Earlier this week, I just stayed at home waiting myself to become tired of just watching TV, reading manga and FACEBOOK. The facebook fever is on everyone! I go online early in the morning and boom! I got over 20 friends online already. And I log in again in the evening then over 30 friends are online. Is there anytime that my chat box would be empty? My chatbox had never been empty. Anyway, I just got my cooking touch back this week. My mom told me to cook various viands for our lunch and I realized that my cooking is isn't bad at all. I hasn't changed at all! Although I lost a little of my sense of tasting which turned out my mom kept saying to me that my soup always lacked salt. :)) I also been caught earlier this week reading manga comics. I got this one love story that it was so exciting to read. And just this morning, I finished reading that story. That was a very good story. I was really touched by it. Anyway, tomorrow would be enrollment day so I'm gonna be out tomorrow for my enrollment. Maybe I could write back again in the evening so till next time. Good Night.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Confidence: Nothing To Worry About

Good day guys. I admit it, this is the first time in my life which I haven't had the feeling of fear during semester breaks. Fear because I might have failing subject. Today, I had nothing in my mind except rest and joy. Usually at this time of year, my mind is very crowded with wild speculations. I was really surprised about this. I hope this would last until the summer class. I don't feel like I will fail this semester. I kept on thinking about passing and that's will be happening. I am so happy today that I couldn't express the feelings that I have in my article. Anyway, I still have one exam left in our networking class but I haven't felt any pressures that I should pass the exam. But I already promised myself that tomorrow, I am going to study for that exam and I will not fail that last exam. I feel like I got confidence pouring inside of me that's putting my morale up to the maximum level. Just before the finals of our semester, I kept on thinking about failing but it was the opposite of what I am feeling today. Anyway, this week is our defense week for our SAD(Systems and Analysis Design) subject. Our defense was last Monday, we haven't sleep the day before it I have only slept for 3 hours. During our defense, we were cornered by the panelists! The good thing was the head panelist gave us 2 hours to fix our bugs in our software. Luckily, the bugs were made up of wrong variable namings, variable not matching to other variables and etc. So, it was just a little revision that were given to us. In less than 2 hours, we finally managed to fix everything else and the panelists gave us the flag meaning we passed. There are other groups that also been in our situation. They were also given 2 hours to fix it up and they made it. But there are also groups who haven't passed. I thought that everyone will pass this time but my mistake, this time, the panelists are stricter than the last defense that we had. I was so sorry for my classmates who haven't made it. I mean, they did their best, had countless sleepless nights to make their software work but in the end it didn't help them pass the subject. I am so sorry for them, I am truly sorry. As I see those people who come out in the room teary eyed, I already have this notion in mind that I must comfort them for the outcome of their defense. Or help them forgot the thing that they had just faced. But it doesn't help, every negative words that the panelists would utter hurts the morale that you have stored inside of you. But yet, I also envy those people who made it without the panelists giving them 2 hours of fixation to their software. Anyway, to those people who are taking their vacations already, Have a good time. I will still be here writing my every article straight from the heart. Good day.

Friday, March 19, 2010

A Dying Hope

Good day! The exam week is already over and so as I was visualizing for a nice and sooth enrollment this summer without an troubles. For I have always been a burden not emotionally but financially, the drop of my parents' coins in Ateneo's cashiers would be hard to swallow as I see the cashier counting the money out. I could never be happier if I could pass this semester with flying colors, not worthy for a judgment whether I must stay in Ateneo or not. As I sweat down every night with a little twist of coke when I study, I still had some doubt in myself whether I could make it or not. I couldn't accept the fact that I would not be accepted ever again. I would have the greatest letdown in my life if it were to happen. I would never forgive myself if it were to happen. And I will be miserable in my whole life if it were to happen. My dream would be broken throughout my whole life. As the exam week comes to an end, it left me thinking about these things but because of my optimism, I was away about these things and I don't want to think about these things too. Right now, I was hoping, my last hope or my dying hope... I feared about my optimism would wind down and needs to be recharged or my optimism would opt out and it would be difficult to regain it. I couldn't imagine the circumstances right now. At the start of the year, I was thinking about redemption and I got what I want but does it had to end up like this? Will this redemption project just lost it's flare so suddenly? I have already given out my last knock-out punch yesterday in my Algorithm subject and so I was waiting for the decision whether I am worthy or not to stay. This is the reality, the life in the university, the bitter life that university students experience. Aside from the expensive tuition fees that you have to pay yearly, you also must maintain your grade to be in able to stay and not to disappoint your parents paying for your schooling. I experienced it all, I experienced it on hand, the bitterness of studying in a university. Why have to be so cruel? We payed and if we fail we will be kicked out of our division, the worst thing is the school will kick us out. We payed for education, we payed expensive fees and at the end we will just be kicked out? What are they thinking? We are not a public school that it would be okay for the school to kicked a student out obviously because we have to pay nothing to pay for our schooling there. In every angle you look, they are in power and so you are only obliged to follow the rules. Good day.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Frustration Ahead...

Good day! Frustration will always be a part of our lives. It is the one that pulls our morale downwards or maybe pull it upwards depending on the frustration that one has. As for me at this moment, the frustration that I have has grown drastically that made me reminisce and reflect about it. My optimism, I would say, has been affected too but not really that big. Because of my optimism I am still rock solid right now to my beliefs of redemption. Just later today I found out that the girl that I really like had some guy way back there to the place where she was born. It was not frustration but disappointment but the frustration there is that is why she is not replying on the chats that I try to initiate. Why can't she just tell me to stop. Another is our teacher in theology who really frustrated us all in our class. He had this thing in him that we really hate the most. Take note, he had sudden mood swings! Not fitted to a man I would say. Men don't have mood swings, once what will be their mood then that's what it is for the rest of the day except though if something terrible really happens. I often termed men who had mood swings as gays. I even have frustrations in my academic life as well. All those grades which I find myself hanging and to those grades that I think I don't deserve to have. I even promised to myself that once I failed to reach my grade goal this semester, I will never ever smile as long as I can't hit back. The promise seemed to be hard but it supposed to be that way because if I fail this time, I pretty sure that I would be kicked out of our division. The people in our division are literally strict when it comes to those kind of things. I just hoped that everything goes on well this time. I can't afford to make anymore mistakes that I have already done in the past. I have learned my lesson already but I think that it is already too late for me to fix everthing else. I wish I could go back in time and rearrange all the things that happened in my life. But I must face reality and reality is this. I can't do no more. All this things that I have learned and experienced in college was shared by me to my brother. I asked him about what course would he be taking and what college life is. I don't want my brother to be like me when he will be in college. I don't want him to experience that bitterness of my life. As an older brother it is my responsibility to take care and guide my younger brother towards a way where you really have a solid ground. I am not greedy not like other people who just let their young people do the things they want and let them experience what they have felt. I am very frustrated to those people who feel that they are something important. Making so much fuzz over little things that shouldn't be considered as a big one. Trying to get some attention. I hate those people who do that especially if they are not really deserving to get that kind of attention and yet there are people who go with then even they already knew about their kind of attitude. (sighs*) Well, what can we do about it? That is them. What I cared about right now is about the redemption thing that I am planning to have. But the boat is in the middle of the storm and I think that the boat cannot withstand the storm that is there so literally, I am sinking. When I reflect, I can't stop thinking about the past events that had happen in my life. All those painful events that happened. And I only wish that it would not happen again. Good day!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Happiness in the midst of pressure

Have you experienced being happy despite the pressures that you had been having? It is a wonderful feeling to have, it is like a refreshing sensation as if your problems are already solved but then you just set it aside just for the sake of relaxing from the heavy tasks that you are doing. All these pressures could blow your mind anytime soon, most especially if you see yourself not coping up with the pressures. Ever since I was in high schools I have already experienced heavy pressures not just in school but also at home. And before I went to college, I told myself that I could handle up the pressures that a college student could possibly have. But I was wrong, college pressures are way too futuristic than of high school pressures. You gotta give concern to your grades because the teacher won't just pull up your grade to make you pass. Once you get 74 and it will be it, the required grade for all the subjects for you not to retake it is 75. In high school, the teacher could just pull your grade up if you are 1 point or 2 points short to 75. In college, it is not. The teacher could even give you a grade of 60 FLAT. And the teacher would just smile at you and say 'you failed'. Because of these pressures we experience, we are unable to smile or even smile back to the people who smiled at us. Laugh is a sacred thing for students who have been pressured by academic factors.
I on the other hand, instead of going with the pressures, I was always thinking of an alternative to take out the pressures or just lessen up the load. I have several solutions to offer which I find very effective - for me. First solution is, when in pressure, at the midst of your heavy duty work. Stand up, limber up and sing your favorite song or just play the playlist that is in your computer or Ipod and sing with it. Second, stand up, limber up and play a disco ,music and dance with it up to the time that you are ready to get back to work. Next is stop from what you are doing and talk to whoever you wanted to talk to. Talk about things, any topic will do as long as it is not boring to discuss but one effective topic I would suggest - talk about the funniest things that had happen in your lives. Lastly, before you go to your work, be sure that you have a can of coke at your side. Everytime you limber up to stretch those muscles, have a sip with that ice cold coke by your side. And very lastly(sorry I still got one left), stand up and shout. What to shout? Shout all you want, anything will do. These five solutions are very effective in doing work in the midst of pressures. In that way, unconsciously you would feel like being energized to work again. And also in that way, you would find happiness in the work you are doing. Always put this in mind, always be happy in everything you do. Try to enjoy it in anyway you want. Good day!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Fighting Optimism

My posts have been a little bit delayed lately because of the final grading approaching. I gotta give a knockout punch to my subjects this finals in able for me to be safe this coming enrollment - the judgment for whether you could still stay in the division or not. Lately last month my optimism I had noticed that my optimism is slowly fading out. As if I was going to surrender and never fight anymore. I gone to lots of reminiscing and visualization. I have spent so much money for me to be able to relax myself and take away the pressures that is in me. I think that academic pressures caused all this depression that I have which also affects my optimism. That is the most important thing in the world for me - optimism. It's like an energy drink giving you the appetite to do work in the midst of tardiness. Giving you the adrenaline that you need in the time where your body seems to give up. Just like any other athletes who drink energy drink in the middle of the game to revitalize their energy and those students who drink energy drink in the middle of the night to make them stay awake studying for their incoming exams the next day. Optimism is like that, without it, me myself cannot withstand all these pressures that have been applied to me by various things. Life is an never ending narrow road with cliffs on it's side. One wrong step, you fall down.
In my case, I almost lost my optimism because of a single trip-off. One lesson learned, never give up in one hit. Always hit back...harder. As goes to one of my philosophies in life: Never surrender... tomorrow is another day. Good day

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Discernment of the weak

Discernment is about choosing among or between the best choices. Discernment is different from decision making. Decision making is about choosing the right choice or the right answer while discernment is about choosing among the right answers. Example after you graduate in college you choose among pursuing you chosen career or indulge into business, that is where discernment comes in. Because both of the choices are the right choices. Unlike in decision making, example you gonna choose whether you would finish college or not, that is where decision making takes place. This article is about the discernment of the weak. Its about choosing the better among the worst. I have that in mind right now. What if I am forced to shift? What most likely would happen? I am totally weighing up the worst possible situations I would be in. First possible situation is shifting into another course where I would have to fit in again with different students with different personalities but staying at the same school. Next is transferring into another school that means another atmosphere and another environment. And finally, my parents would get angry at me and will do things to me that they have never done before. When I was still in high school they were close into doing those worst things to me so it will be possible that this time they will really do it to me. And I would skip school and go to our farm and work there, growing plants and be with the nature. I could never imagine what would happen to me. All of those are the worst of their kinds. It is always possible that those things will happen.
Last night, I was thinking about those things because I was not satisfied with my grade in physics. Despite of all the hard work that I have done, I only got the grade of 81. I passed all of the quizzes except for one and especially the exam. My grade in my quiz that I have failed is really not that low. I don't want to experience any of those 'worst things to happen'. I was thinking about 'God why should I be in this kind of situation? Are you testing my faith on you?'. I have done the right things, I have done my best but in turn this would be the outcome. Why should it be like this? Is God planning to turn me into like this? Does God wanted my life to be like this? Many said that you create the outcome of your life but there are situations that it just happens without you doing something. The bitterness of life it is.
For many years, sorrow is in me. Anger is with me but not to my parents and anybody else but anger to myself. Hating myself for my unworthiness and my incapability. Wearing of a mask that covers it all is warm. The mask fools everyone I know. Nobody knows me well, even my friends and even my family. I always wear a mask that would not show the real me for the real me is ugly, full of sorrow and anger. Why is that I am such a weakling? I am no good to anything. All I want is redemption, redemption in the sense that bringing back the trust that my parents once gave me. I have no anger planted deep within inside me to my parents because I know that wherever angle I look, I will always be wrong. Nothing seems to go in the right direction for me. They always fall off the cliff. I follow a narrow path with cliff in its side. As I was in the middle of the path, I would just fall of the cliff. Why? Why? Sorrow is enough, pain is enough for me but they just keep on coming back to me. It has haunted me ever since I started to have problems. My parents are good to other people but strict when it comes to us with my brother and stricter when it comes to me. I don't have anything anymore and yet life wanted to suck all the little juice that is left even though I got nothing left anymore. Bringing me down to my knees. Is this what my life has to be? What a pain. Can't stop to envy other people who had no problems at all and nothing to worry at all. I got all the problems, my shoulders are always loaded with problems in which are heavy for me to carry.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Love and Misunderstanding In My Life: Solutions To Misunderstanding

Good day! Have you ever experienced being misunderstood by the people around you? Have you ever tried explaining to them but they were unable to get the message right? Or You explained to them but you are unable to use the right words? Or simply You are tired of explaining to them because you already knew what would be the outcome of the conversation? Having these experience is difficult to bear most especially if the people that misunderstood you the most are the ones that you loved the most. This is one painful thing in life that we found confusing to answer. Why is it that they misunderstood me? First theory is the pride that they had. They don't want to hurt their pride just because they think they are right at the very beginning. Example of which is you try to explain to your parents why you had failed this particular subject. You failed because the teacher is a student hater. We couldn't avoid this kind of situations, there are teachers who gave their students a suffering of a lifetime. When you tired to explain this to them they would say 'You just didn't give you very best effort to pass the subject'. Then you simply reasoned out that 'less than half of the class has passed this subject' then they would say 'then you would like to count yourself among those who didn't pass?, don't say such a thing! you must always put in mind that you must be one of those who passed the subject!'. The question is, can you answer back? Most probably no but the most possible answer of you is 'but the teacher is just so cruel, she is not like any other teachers. look at some of my subjects, I passed them all with flying colors except for this one. It just mean that I am not the problem but the teacher itself. And why do half of my class failed? Even those who are smarter than me are just about to reach the passing grade'. Then they would say 'Don't answer back, it is your obligation as a student to give your very best in your studies. We paid for your college fees and this will be what we are receiving in return?'. I always experience this on hand everytime my mom sees my grade goes under the border. Everytime I experience this, I would just shut up and most probably cry in my seat. Why is it that It has to be like this? Can't they just admit that the teacher is just too cruel? or simply bad. The worst part is they always see themselves right. That is one thing about misunderstanding, misunderstanding is about the inability of one to look at the certain situation in a different point of view. Misunderstanding starts if one only looks and decides depending on what he/she sees from her point of view. If seeing and deciding on a certain situation always put yourself in a mood that you are open to listen to different opinions in a different perspective. Or just simply lower down your pride and try to hear other people's opinions. Especially to those who experience it first hand.
There are many consequences once you let yourself put on top in every situation. Misunderstanding has a lot of effects, maybe you can't see it on you but you can see it on the other people. The most dangerous thing is if having a misunderstanding with someone who bottles up emotions. Lower your pride a bit and surely you will have a nice conversation. The thing is, when this happens all the time everytime there is a conversation, the people whom you misunderstood would be negative to you. As for me, I got used to being misunderstood by the fact that my parents always listens to themselves. My dad is different, he looks at the situation and react but there are certain situations that he is unable to do that. I didn't plant any anger against my parents because I love them. I just try to avoid conversations and when there is a potential misunderstanding coming, I would just shut up and listen to them. I couldn't change the way they are thinking anymore but I will just adapt on what they are. Anyway, they are my parents and I don't have the right to raise a voice on them. It is just when it comes to family, moms are the ones who can understand their children the most but in my situation she is the one who could hardly understand and cannot swallow her pride that easily. As long as she thinks she is right and then that would be it. During my high school days, I became rebellious because of their misunderstanding. I just starting to feel that I don't have any rooms when we are starting to have a conversation. As what my dad said to me 'You Are Just My Son, You Don't Have The Right To Talk'. That was really painful for me but in turn I swallowed my pride and just blame everything on me.
Painful as it is but there would be no other choices left but to hit the deck and swallow your pride. As I matured and went to college, more and more of that came into me. But I got nothing to do anymore, the more I talk, the angrier they would be so shutting up is my only option. And just let them win, I even promised to myself that someday if I am going to have a family, I would not misunderstand my children so they would not grow up like me. I grew up under the shadows of my parents. They are achievers, while I am not. They always told me to blame myself for everything wrong that has happened to me when it should not be. There are certain situations that you couldn't blame yourself for letting it happen.I even found myself in the middle of envy everytime when I see my brother being understood by them. I sometimes thought that I wish I could be the younger one. My brother is more free than me. I can't blame them for what they are but just accept them for what they are. Love is always there everytime I started to hate them. I could never do that though some teenagers do that but I won't. From the painful experiences that I have, I still have the appetite to love them back. Most especially in the case of my mother who misunderstands me a lot. I just realized that anger would just consume the person in you and anger destroys you yourself. Not just yourself but also the people around you, it affects everything. One important lesson I learned is that if misunderstood then just shut up and listen. If you are annoyed then release it somewhere else. One effective anger removal is talking to yourself. Talk to yourself as if they are facing you and tell them what you wanted them to hear from you - supposedly. After that, you would feel the relief you had. Then move on from that. Don't bring it back, it is already over. And don't ever opening it back or else the hole would just get deeper. Hope this could help yourselves. Good day.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Vocation: A calling

Good day guys. This morning, we talked about vocation in our theology class. I find it interesting to be talked about so here I am, talking about vocation itself. As what said in the dictionary, vocation is about a feeling of choosing a particular career. What I have in my mind is that vocation is making a positive attitude towards a particular career. It is about choosing a certain path in life that some have no solid grounds to step on. Meaning we are not so sure about the path we are choosing to if it would lead us to the right destination safely. Faith and Belief in yourself and God is one important thing in vocation. It doesn't mean that you are unworthy you don't have any vocations. Vocation too can be termed as a mission in life. A fulfillment of a mission that would make us be a better person someday.
To make it simple, vocation is like, 'What would I do with my life?'. We kept on searching for answers. The more we search about it, the more we are lost. Answers can be found along the way. New missions can also be found along the way. Only you yourself can identify which one is it. And you are also the only that can gain benefit to it. Vocation for some is a calling from God. Actually, there are a lot of meaning about vocation but let's put it this way. Vocation came fro the Latin word 'Vocare' it means to be called. In short, vocation is about the calling of yourself to a mission. Its either a calling from God or a calling from yourself that you need to mature. Many people found themselves unworthy and thought that they have no vocations just because they are unworthy or useless. No, each one of us has his/her vocation. We got different vocations in life and so as our personalities. It is up to us on how we answer our vocations in life.
To generalize everything, vocation is a mission in life that requires us to step in a ground that is not solid enough for us to step in. And it requires us faith and belief to yourself and to God to fulfill this mission. Good day.

Diary: day 13: The end is near

Good day guys! I am really sorry for the delay of my diary entry. The finals is approaching as fast as I expected. The midterms is a successful campaign, I have managed to hit back behind the painful defeat I have during the prelims. Our defense for our SAD will be next week. We are approaching the final three weeks of our classes. I am getting tensed, this is the time that I would throw my knock out punch to all my subjects, especially the major ones. Anyway, this morning, we got a group quiz on our physics subject and it turned out pretty well. Although some of the items were wrong but majority of it were sure. I was just wondering or I can't stop wondering why in these final days, we got lots of activities and quizzes. Is it that we should focus for our final exam because it would be our last shot to pull up our grades? My theory is that they are using the quiz to pull up or grades but the quizzes are terrible difficult. The more quiz we have, the more it would pull down our grades. I was focusing in my physics subject because I was planning that this subject will have to pull up my average grade for my major subjects. This week would be a busy one for me, I have to work for our SAD software. I am getting tensed as day finishes one by one. I am still having a problem with my java subject. I hope I could pass and the grade would not be so bad. I mean, my midterm exam for that subject resulted into a good one. I was just tensed about it, I just don't know why but I just feel tensed. But at the end, I am very optimistic of me reaching the cut-off grade of 82. I have my goal set that I would reach the grade of 85, sounds impossible but I still have this last shot - the finals. I like to hit back really hard in the finals. I feel like I am playing in an underdog team in the NBA Finals but everything is possible, what do you know, I could reach the grade of 85 and managed to escape the wrath of failure. If I pass this time and this would be my second time cheating failure. It should be death but its the same thing. Right after our physics subject, I worked in my program in java that ended up being copied by my friends. It is okay for me if they would just get an idea out of it but coping it is another thing. I really hate it if they don't edit it. But I would just stay in the positive side. I can do it! I will do it! And after working, I waited for my next class then our teacher didn't show up. What a waste of time, I should have went home and took a nap and get back to work. Or just work at home for my java program assignment. That would be all guys, wish me all the luck. Good day and God Bless.

Your Failures Do Not Define You

Good day everyone! Everybody in this whole world experiences failure. Failure will always be a part of our lives. Even though how successful we are in our lives, we always experience failure. Failures molds not only our future but also our personality. In failures we learn so many things. There are failures that are hard to swallow and there are failures which we can carry on like nothing happens. But failures, once experienced, is always demoralizing. Demoralizing in the thought that we are bad or we are just incapable of something. Many people judge individuals who had failure in everything. Just because you failed it doesn't mean you are no good. The question is why do other people commit failures less than other people? Luck? No. Luck is not a basis of your achievements, luck are opportunities that suddenly shows up in the middle of the storm. Actually, each one of us is lucky its just that we are unable to take the opportunity behind it or we are unable to see the opportunity that lies behind.
I had experienced failure ever since I was born. My life is full of failures. In everything I do, I always commit failure. Especially in my college life, its always crowded with it. Most of it are demoralizing and painful. One lesson I learned behind this failures is that you must always stand up in each failure you have, even though how demoralizing it is. Just stand up and hit back. There is nothing we can do about it just stand up and learn from it like riding a bike. Many people over the years judged me of what I am. Many people doubted me of my capabilities. One painful things is that even your family members would doubt you on your capabilities. I have experienced it all, demoralizing or not, I would just stand up and fight back. One secret is when you fail on one thing, don't tell yourself that you are incapable of doing it or you are just stupid. Instead, ask yourself, 'what can I do with this? or what should I do?' at the long run, you'll never notice that you are fighting back and really hitting it hard. I was born like this, maybe its my curse but the thing that I would like to boast is my fighting spirit. I failed many times already but I just don't know how to give up until I have proven myself that I can't do it. Many people say that I was born a failure, yes I am, but don't tell me that I would just give up. Even though with my parents doubting me, I still continue to fight. Not for redemption or proving them wrong but for my learning curve itself. I always have this belief that people who commit failures more often are way better than those who experience them less. Better in the way that you have a more improved personality than they are. Better in the way that you could easily stand up even though how demoralizing it was. I have listened and talked to people who experience a demoralizing failure for the first time in their lives. One thing common about them is they don't know where to start. My advice is, stand up where you are and start there. Correct your own mistakes, learn form them. Some even have traumas about it but I don't have any anymore. It takes for one to lose before experiencing winning. When I was a kid, I got trauma about it but in the long run, I find it challenging. Its like challenging my personality prowess. Because of that, I am starting to love challenges, not to the point that I am searching for one but to the point that I am ready to face it.
I would like to share this thing because people nowadays especially teenagers, when experiencing demoralizing failures, just gives up on it. I would always admit that I was born a looser but I will give you a hell of a fight. As a guy who experiences failure more often, I am very open to those people who seeks advice. I am not the type of person who leaves anybody behind. I will help you as long as I can. My looks might tell you that I am not serious but looks can fool people. Giving up leads you to nowhere and giving up makes you a complete failure. Up to now, many people doubted me. Blessed are those who trust me and believes that I can do it but the only people who could believe are those people like me - a failure in life. I am glad that I was a failure, I am happy with it. When I experience a demoralizing failure I just close my eyes, concentrate or meditate, when I am ready then I would tell myself, hit back as hard as you can. Your Failures Will Never Define The Person You Are dude. Don't show them that you are weak on the inside, show them that you are a warrior. As for me, attitude will always be an important factor in life - The warrior/fighter attitude.
To generalize everything, once you experience a demoralizing failure, just close your eyes, concentrate, and tell yourself to hit back, you can do it. Just count this as a lesson learned and stand up from where you are and start there. I hope this could help you guys when experiencing failure. Good day.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Attitude Changes Everything

Good day guys! I was just thinking about this quote that I have read from several books. Can attitude really change everything? I made a survey and found out that attitude can really change everything. I got several proofs to show you why. First, in sports, when you are playing a game of basketball then you look at your opponent's roster. They are composed of guys who play exceptionally well. But then because of your attitude of never say die, you manage to beat them. One example is the Detroit Pistons beating the LA Lakers in the 2004 NBA Finals. The LA Lakers is composed of Gary Payton, Kobe Bryant, Devean George, Karl Malone and Shaquille O'neal. Then the Detroit Pistons is composed of Ben and Rasheed Wallace, Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince and Chauncey Billups. Weigh them, see the difference. Yet because of the attitude that the Detroit Pistons is showing, they manage to beat LA in the finals. Event though it was a mismatch in the context that LA players is composed of superstars and future legends and yet this Detroit team is just composed of ordinary players who just don't know how to give it up. Next, I got a friend who got failing grades in the prelims and midterms and yet manages to pass the subject? Why? In the pre-finals and finals he got fired up and picked up momentum. Got perfect scores over and over again not noticing that his grades were pulled up. Finally, about you getting sick but still manages to do the work you usually does. Imagine if you are really sick, you don't have the appetite to do things. You just wanted to have a bed rest for the rest of the day. There are people I know who doesn't mind the pain they are experiencing if they are sick. I tried it and it was effective. I was having a fever that time but I got to go to school because I got a quiz to catch up. As I was going out of bed, my body is somewhat pulling me down and I remember somebody told me that just don't mind the pain, it would just be carried away. So I disregarded the pain, I took a bath, changed into my school uniform and went to school. When I was there, the atmosphere suddenly changed because people are so busy that you also got carried away by their busy-ness. When the quiz started, I find the quiz difficult so I just concentrated it the quiz. Not knowingly, I was still having a fever a my head hurts before the quiz started. When the quiz ended, I went outside talk with my fellow classmates, discussed the answers on those difficult items. When my classmate noticed m voice to be different(I was having a flu), he asked me Are you sick? I forgot! I said, Yes I am. Then he said, you should not be here, you should take a rest or else it would get worse. When he said that, I suddenly felt tired. That's then I realized that I was thinking I was sick that I suddenly felt I was. So I went home and took a nap that lasted for 5 hours. I again attempted to think about I was not sick but in the middle of it, I gave up, I lost my concentration and so I went back to sleep. Funny? oh yes it was!(laughs). Anyway, you got to ask what is the reason behind this? The reason is about the psychological effect of your thinking you are not sick. Its just that you disregarded the sickness and do your routine.
Some authors referred to it as positivism. You stayed positive that you can still do your work despite of your handicap. Some even say that it is the power of our brain. They say that our brain is the most powerful thing in the world. I really having a hard time how to explain it but just google it and you'll find the answer. Everything is possible to you. If they can do it and so can you. It is just about the attitude. What is wrong in doing things that you are not good at or you got the handicap on those things. At least you have tried the very best you can in doing those things. Its just the matter of believing in yourself but too much believing in yourself is bad too. Just have it in moderation. Its over confidence if you believe in yourself too much.
To generalize everything, Attitude is the thing that can put you up and down. So, everything is possible. Anything is possible as long as you got the right attitude for it.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Bitterness of college life

Good day guys. This topic that I will be talking about is the bitterness of college life. Many of us knows that college is fun. Most of the most unforgettable moments in our life is experienced in college. The things that we haven't done in our lives. College life is everything. Away from parents, legal age and many more. Take note, in college we mold ourselves to become future professionals someday. Here lies our future for us. And this is where all of the craziest things happen not like in high school. But college life is bitter as well, much bitter than the life we had in high school. As for me, Grade school and high school is just a from of a preparation for us to go to college. In college, things are much more different. Terrifying professors, crab-mentality minded classmates and being a irregular.
First thing I would tackle about is the terrifying professors part. Many of us college students experience failing. There are many reasons in failing. But the not so valid reason is you did your best in passing the subject but your professor's way is not about going to your favor. Like his/her way of grading students, his/her grading basis and the lecturing sessions. Most terrifying professors had this grading system that once you failed once, you can never get back on track. If ever given a removal exam, if you fail then that decides your future for the subject. And the lecturing session too. The boring lecture session that makes you daydream the whole class. With his/her terms that he/she could only understand. Their explaining method that he/she thinks that your are smart enough to catch the idea he/she wants to give you. I got a friend that shared me about a story of their teacher. There are 40 students enrolled in this particular subject including him. Right at the very beginning they have noticed that their teacher doesn't want them to pass. If they are willing to, as if the teacher wanted them to cry with blood. At the end of the semester, there are only 3,excluding my friend, who passed the subject. Imagine that? 3 out of 40? A harsh way to handle a class and to think that my friend is known to be a high achiever in terms of academics, failed to that subject.
Next is the crab-mentality minded classmates. Do you ever experienced asking to your classmate regarding one topic then he/she would just say I don't know then at the end she got perfect on a quiz regarding that topic? Many college student does that maybe because of the thought that college decides your future. But it doesn't have to be that way. Why can be so greedy if somebody just ask for your help in letting him/her understand about a certain topic? It's not that he/she is asking about your answers.
And finally being an irregular student. It is the hardest thing to be if you are a college student. You can be in any other class with different classmates. Some even play small on you just because you are an irregular. Underestimating your abilities. One thing, irregulars had plenty of free time or rather vacant time. Like your class end at 10am then your next class is at 4pm. That is a lot of free time your got there dude(Smiles). And take note to the irregulars out there, once you are in a class that doesn't belong to your section, have friends with the regulars of that class not to your fellow irregulars or else there would be no future for you in that subject. Good day guys!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Philosophy: Social Inequality and Poverty

Good day guys! This topic is one of the most sensitive topics that every person, organization or the world would talk about. The topic about social inequality. We often ask ourselves what is social inequality. Social inequality is the term used if the people in the marginalized section had this certain discrimination that is made by the people who are superior or higher than them in terms of economic stratification. It is simply known as other people doesn't get what they supposed to have. Because of this people in the marginalized section would become poorer and the people higher than them becomes richer. Why is it? People nowadays, especially to those in the higher part of the social stratification triangle is having all these opportunities to rose higher. Why is it? Because of income. Income is the basis of our stratification wherever we are in the world. One has a higher income than the other it means this particular individual has more not just in the context of natural resources but opportunities too. Opportunities to get a higher paying job and the opportunity to get richer. Without income then a particular individual is deprived of his/her opportunity to develop. There are a million of reason that we can name but I would like to site one important reason. As of today, education is very important. This is the easiest way to get to the top. Without this, one would end up in the marginalized section. And education nowadays is getting expensive yearly. Yearly there would be a tuition fee increase. A certain individual regardless of his/her social stratification can make his/her child go to school up to high school for free because of the public schools. only a few can go to college because of lack of financial support even though there are a lot of organizations nowadays that offers a scholarship program to the less fortunate but we must consider about the rising number of the people in the marginalized section. Not everyone is accommodated by these scholarship programs. As a result, people who cannot go to college would end up getting a blue collar job and it would be a part of the circle of his/her descendants. How sad it is to hear this kind of thing but this is the real world. Take note, not all of those students who get a college degree could secure a job for themselves much more if one don't have a college degree.
Many of us kept wondering what is the source of the problem. Simple, it is because of this social stratification. We create boundaries within us that we give the opportunities to those only who can afford to bring their kids up to college and even giving them a post-graduate course. How can we solve this? Nobody except us can solve this. No politician or organization can solve the problem of poverty. It is within the person's personality. It is about a person's determination to rose up higher in terms of social stratification. There was one quote which I read saying that 'Poverty is the lack of ability of one to give values to which he/she should be valuing about'. It means poverty is just about the attitude. It is easier said than done but it is the reality. We must all know that if one belongs to the marginalized section, he/she should strive more because he/she got the disadvantage over to those higher in terms of social stratification than him/her.
How to help them? There are lots of agencies, organizations and even charities that were formed by people both politicians and non-politicians to conduct seminars and teachings to improve an individual's knowledge on how to conquer poverty. It is up to the people if they would listen or care about it but it's one important thing to know. If one is unable to give importance to this knowledge that has been shared unto them then therefore this individual could never rose up from where he/she is standing. Even I had listened to stories to people who came from the marginalized section and eventually rose up. Each one of them has their own secret and it is very common among them. It is about the attitude. The more one would pity him/herself the more he/she is pulling him/her down and the more he/she couldn't develop in terms of social stratification. It is not that I am biased but I also listen to the other side(the marginalized section). Here is the common denominator among them, they tend to not give value to those opportunities that requires them to give extra work. They tend to say 'Just forget about that, anyway it is only by chance that we could grasp this opportunity'. That is one big mistake out there. Let us take in consideration the chances. Always take count of the chances, what if you can be the lucky one who could grab the chance? Even not, at least you have tried and give your best shot. There is no mistake in trying and failing after. It is a part of our learning curve as human beings to experience failure in order to win. We cannot win unless we have faced failure a couple of times. Lucky for those who can afford but them too should exert some effort. Because they are already there they must utilize themselves that they have already grasp the opportunity.
I generalize that Social inequality and even poverty is unsolvable if our attitude is a negative in facing them. No person or organization can solve this even how much effort they have exerted. It is always about the attitude.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Diary: day 12: Bad memories

Good day guys. I was having my siesta hour this afternoon. I went home in the province over the weekend so I got a lot of fresh air. The negative thing if I go home is that all these bad memories comes back to life. It bothers me to the extent that I sometimes lost my mood in doing things. Like this afternoon, I always had this habit of taking a siesta. Suddenly all these bad memories went back to life as if they were true. What a terrible nightmare. The worst among those were the time when I failed a subject. I feared that I would fail again this time. I couldn't afford to do so for I would be forced to shift it I permit it to happen. If something like that would happen then I will not forgive myself. I could imagine my dad's glaring eyes, my mom's loud voice as if it were to kill me. I am afraid for I don't fight back. I don't talk back. I just hold back myself and let them do everything else. I don't know where to go after this. I don't see my future anymore unlike the past years where I found myself in the midst of achievements. I was so scared that the worst would happen. I couldn't blame anybody else except for myself. Where am I going to go if it would happen. What would be my future look like. All of my dreams that I have chased would just transform into dust. It would be a sad reality for me.
Starting all over again would only be the solution. I would like to do it but I don't feel like doing such because its been a long way then. If it would happen I would be the biggest looser that I've known. I will never forgive myself. My family would never forgive me as well. What would be my future? Where would I end up after that? Would be my friends be there to support me? The friends that I've known to be true. So much for that. I'll just hope that the worst would not happen. I would never let it happen.

The Sewer Rat's Prayer

God Almighty, Here I am with my dirty hands
Thank you for giving me another day, another day to fight for. Thank you for helping me survive the previous day. And thank you for all the blessings that you had blessed me. Please forgive me O Lord for all these unrighteous acts. For from the beginning of my existence, I have already sinned. Bless all those surround me, whether they are bad or good; Mistreated me or helped me. Give them guidance, love and perseverance as they live their lives. Help me be enlightened O Lord. What can I do with this nothingness that I possess? How can I be useful despite of my uselessness? Give me patience O lord as I conquer each problems I face. May you guide me in solving them one at a time. As I finish each day O Lord, I will honor your name. For I always believe in you. Thy mercy and love that you gave me unconsciously. I bow down my head to you Lord as I rest. May you bless me another day O Lord. These things are all I ask and tell you. In your name I pray. Amen

Diary: day 11: Blue Screen of Death Solved!

Good day guys! I am so happy that my blue screen of death issue has already been solved. It's kind of annoying that you wanna work on your school files when your computer is unavailable because of it. The blue screen of death appears if the memory on your computer had crashed. In this article I will share to you my adventures and misadventures in solving the blue screen of death issue.
First, when the blue screen of death appeared on my laptop I was confused how did or why did it happen. I was working on my school works when my laptop hanged up. Because of me being impatient, I hit the reset button then bang! The Blue Screen of Death. Next, I was so shy to ask my classmates what to do with this blue screen of death. I was scared that they would tease me. And again, because I am impatient, I had gathered enough courage to ask one of my friends what to do. He said, 'You must reformat your laptop. That is the only way Trust me'. I followed his advice and got a windows XP cd(note: It was registered and it was original). I asked him how in the world would it read the XP cd. Simple, boot it up using the bios set up then set the CD/DVD as your 1st boot device. Then restart your computer and put on the cd. After that, I followed every step then I suddenly encountered the Insert Boot Device message and Press Any Key. So I pressed any key. There, the installation took place. I just followed the steps. With the help of www.Yahoo.com. I was able to find some instructions. I just followed the steps then I became impatient again. I just clicked and clicked and I encountered the Press Any Key message again. So, I pressed anything. Suddenly I found myself in rebooting my CD/DVD again. LOL! As I read again the instructions, it said there that once you encountered that message again, you just have to wait or else you would start all over again. I was so frustrated that the 30 minutes that I spent went all to waste. I got no choice but to start all over again then I have read the instructions every step of the way. Then I got it. I successfully reformatted my laptop. The sad thing was, some of my important school files and software are deleted due to the reformatting process. Next time, I should provide myself a back up in case it would happen again. To those of you who also encountered the same problem as I do, the internet is always there for resources. I was sorry that I forgot the URL of the site where I got those instructions. That would be all guys. Have a good day. May God Bless you all. :)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Greed and Crab Mentality

Good day! Have you ever experienced being pulled down in the midst of glory? In the midst of the wonderful momentum towards success? Crab Mentality it is. Instead of congratulating or helping someone, pulling them instead is what it meant. Crab mentality is a form of greed. It means pulling one down instead of helping him/her out. It is kind of annoying if you got someone pulling you down even though you have done the most out of it. Why are there many of people being like that. As if they do not want to be get ahead of by someone. It doesn't really matter at all if that someone had done the best out of it.
I got someone I know that possess this kind of mentality. This friend is good in academics and other extra-curricular activities. But then if this friend notices that somebody is getting up ahead of her she immediately takes action on stopping these person whatever it takes. There was one situation that we are having a surprise quiz. The teacher announced that the quiz will an open notes quiz but sharing of notes is not allowed. The teacher announced it loud and clearly then suddenly this friend of mine raised her voice on my seatmate that made a last-minute review. Then my seatmate whose very annoyed, yield at my friend. As for me, there is no reason for my friend to raise voices over our classmate that only had a last-minute review. Lucky is my friend that she had known before the class started that we would be having a quiz. There some situations too that I find y friend very annoying because of my friend's display of crab mentality. Why is it that you have to pull one person down if you know that he/she is doing the best that he/she they can.
This attitude has a lot of negative effects towards the doer's life. I mean, with this display of personality, many and many people would hate you. And eventually many would turn their backs on you. People are not foolish enough to help those who pull them down. We all now its bad but let us wake up in reality. People don't care about these things. To generalize everything, Crab Mentality is therefore an attitude that could eventually pull you down even though you are the doer of the action. Good day everyone.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Diary:Day 10: Annoying personalities and Valentines

Good day guys! Exam week is over and summer break is just around the corner. Today, I got my exam results in my physics exam and as expected, I got it. I passed it! I am so happy that I wanted to show it to everybody. Anyway, my valentines day was a lonely one. Never had a date but instead, I got a date with my family. Suddenly. the worst came out. I got sick, I had flu. My body cannot take its beating anymore. I really have to go. When suddenly my uncle said that I got sick because I got no date. Well, that settles everything else. I got so angry that I forced my dad to get me a taxi home. I was really in a bad mood that day. All those dragging around the mall made me dizzy. I haven't fell any of it in the morning that I was so willing to go with a date with them. When we got ourselves handful in the mall, my body seem to give up. I fought the feeling but I can't take it anymore.
About the diary, I made a delay on my diary again. Anyway, last night I spent my night in the coffee shop talking to my friend. We didn't talk about nonsense but instead we talked about things that could really fire us up with anger and frustration. We discovered that things such as self-pity could easily frustrate a person. Take for example me. I got no money then suddenly a friend of mine, jokingly ask me to treat him to a food trip then suddenly I would say that I got no money because I am poor because my family cannot afford to give me so much allowance. What would you feel? I see it as annoying. Another is when you help someone with something then suddenly he/she would say 'what if'. I hate that. Take for example my friend asked me to help him with his assignment. In the middle of the process he would suddenly say, I wanted to change it. I don't feel like doing it. You would say 'why?' then all the 'what ifs' in the world would appear. Lastly, people that don't have any word of honor. Once you said it, you must do it unless emergency happens. Take for example, a friend of mine would tell me that he would go with me in the province for a smell of fresh air. Then suddenly, when it is time to go he would suddenly say 'I can't go'. Isn't it annoying? Well. so much for that.
About the valentines, I never got to ask someone to go in a date. I got a lot of plans but not of it went to action. Anyway, if any of that went into action, all of those would just go into waste. My brother ask my mom that he would be having a date with his girlfriend but my mom said 'no no no' to him. Because we will be having a date as a family. After that my brother's face became untraceable. I cannot blame him for that but its like the situation of the egg and the chicken. Which comes first? the egg or the chicken? You gotta choose with your girlfriend or your mom. Difficult decision huh? well, that settle's everything up. My debts went up as the Dallas Mavericks got beaten by the Oklahoma Thunder. They rose up to P200. Wew! What a mess it is. Anyway, so much for that. That would be all guys. Good day.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Diary: Day 9: Fraustration and Joy

Greetings guys! The exam week is over and yet I still had to tend to one last subject. Our Java subject. The teacher delayed the exam because as what we speculated, the exam would be difficult. So, I went home here in the province yesterday because I wanted to focus on studying but I don't have the appetite of doing it. So, I ended up here, blogging. Anyway, there are a lot of things that I would like to share to you. The past few days, I was unable to blog because of the exams. In other words, I got a lot of things to tell you about. Last Wednesday, we had our exam in physics and that was a blast! Thanks to the book that I have borrowed that all of the things that I have studied there went out in the exam. I was so lucky. The supposed to be 2-hour exam, was done in only an hour by me. I am really proud of myself. At least, it adds motivation to my part that I am really good in math especially to those equations that you have to derive. Our teacher calls it playing with equations, some call it headache and I call it challenge =)) I got two subject down keying in with two victories among them(I mean I passed the exam). I got three more-two majors and one minor.
The next day, another attack(I mean exam) was conducted by one of our major subjects. I studied very well before the exam. Studied all of the codes and commands. After an hour, Victory! I passed the exam again. Earlier that day, we had an exam with our Theology class. The exam was tough and yet I still managed to escape(I am still not sure if I had passed it). My concern right now is about my Java subject. I gives me shivers down my spine. Especially that I am not really good at java programming. It's even frustrating that I a third year student still unable to master programming.
So much of that. Instead of thinking about frustration, let us think of something else Something positive I suggest. Just to change the direction of the wind. Right now, I was thinking of a valentines date. i don't have any date. Oh my, I wish I had one. I wanted to date that girl that I really like. But she will always remain a dream for me. I got this notion in mind saying that "What would you feel if your dreams ,unexpectedly, came true?". It would be nice but let's get back to reality guys. She will always be a dream for me. I hope she would notice me=)) Anyway, so much for that guys. I'll be blogging this week. My exams are over and I am expecting an all A-grade this midterms. Good day guys!